Oh, and just like sports has unwritten rules, so does "Paradise Hotel." Never stop acting like a fool. Be as mean as you can. Embarrass your family. Err in the direction of complete hypocrisy. Cry whenever someone you barely know is voted off. Whenever you disagree with somebody, get in his face and scream. When in doubt, keep the girls with big breasts around. Don't trust anyone. And never, ever stop playing The Game.
Still don't think "Hotel" is a sport? The NBA's success hinges on superstars like LeBron, Shaq, T-Mac and Inmate No. B7534 -- er, Kobe. "Paradise Hotel" lives and dies with its own superstars: Toni (a bulging-eyed drama queen best described as "Bill Romanowski in drag"); Dave (a conniving loser who can't get lucky on an island chock full of promiscuous partiers); Charla (a calculating tease who traps herself in her room and melts down more often than the Red Sox bullpen); and Holly (a buxom airhead who eagerly admitted she'd do a Girls of "Paradise Hotel" spread in Playboy, God bless her).
The show even has an MJ: Zack, a self-absorbed bully who fell for his roommate after belittling her incessantly. (Don't we all fall in love that way?) Recently, Zack threatened a male model and compared his own life to "Braveheart." Needless to say, folks on the show revered him: he was the King of the Morons. When Keith voted him off, the uproar felt like JFK's assassination all over again. Zack's girl vowed revenge and became a twisted mess of misguided vitriol. I keep waiting for her head to do 360s. If those two reproduce, we might finally meet the real-life Damien.
Oh, and just like sports has unwritten rules, so does "Paradise Hotel." Never stop acting like a fool. Be as mean as you can. Embarrass your family. Err in the direction of complete hypocrisy. Cry whenever someone you barely know is voted off. Whenever you disagree with somebody, get in his face and scream. When in doubt, keep the girls with big breasts around. Don't trust anyone. And never, ever stop playing The Game.
Still don't think "Hotel" is a sport? The NBA's success hinges on superstars like LeBron, Shaq, T-Mac and Inmate No. B7534 -- er, Kobe. "Paradise Hotel" lives and dies with its own superstars: Toni (a bulging-eyed drama queen best described as "Bill Romanowski in drag"); Dave (a conniving loser who can't get lucky on an island chock full of promiscuous partiers); Charla (a calculating tease who traps herself in her room and melts down more often than the Red Sox bullpen); and Holly (a buxom airhead who eagerly admitted she'd do a Girls of "Paradise Hotel" spread in Playboy, God bless her).
The show even has an MJ: Zack, a self-absorbed bully who fell for his roommate after belittling her incessantly. (Don't we all fall in love that way?) Recently, Zack threatened a male model and compared his own life to "Braveheart." Needless to say, folks on the show revered him: he was the King of the Morons. When Keith voted him off, the uproar felt like JFK's assassination all over again. Zack's girl vowed revenge and became a twisted mess of misguided vitriol. I keep waiting for her head to do 360s. If those two reproduce, we might finally meet the real-life Damien.
The Throbber was huge Average Joe fan. Larissa Meek was bonerific.
Then the big reveal where she said she had dated Fabio...wah wah wah....boner killer.
Goduckies
Member Posts: 6,215
Comments
http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/030917
Oh, and just like sports has unwritten rules, so does "Paradise Hotel." Never stop acting like a fool. Be as mean as you can. Embarrass your family. Err in the direction of complete hypocrisy. Cry whenever someone you barely know is voted off. Whenever you disagree with somebody, get in his face and scream. When in doubt, keep the girls with big breasts around. Don't trust anyone. And never, ever stop playing The Game.
Still don't think "Hotel" is a sport? The NBA's success hinges on superstars like LeBron, Shaq, T-Mac and Inmate No. B7534 -- er, Kobe. "Paradise Hotel" lives and dies with its own superstars: Toni (a bulging-eyed drama queen best described as "Bill Romanowski in drag"); Dave (a conniving loser who can't get lucky on an island chock full of promiscuous partiers); Charla (a calculating tease who traps herself in her room and melts down more often than the Red Sox bullpen); and Holly (a buxom airhead who eagerly admitted she'd do a Girls of "Paradise Hotel" spread in Playboy, God bless her).
The show even has an MJ: Zack, a self-absorbed bully who fell for his roommate after belittling her incessantly. (Don't we all fall in love that way?) Recently, Zack threatened a male model and compared his own life to "Braveheart." Needless to say, folks on the show revered him: he was the King of the Morons. When Keith voted him off, the uproar felt like JFK's assassination all over again. Zack's girl vowed revenge and became a twisted mess of misguided vitriol. I keep waiting for her head to do 360s. If those two reproduce, we might finally meet the real-life Damien.
The Throbber was huge Average Joe fan. Larissa Meek was bonerific.
Then the big reveal where she said she had dated Fabio...wah wah wah....boner killer.