Pac-12 After Midnight: Swing Your Sword

BearsWiin

So I've been having chest tightness all day. Figured at first it was because of the lingering cough I have from a respiratory virus I had ten days ago, but this felt oddly different. Started wondering if I needed to hit the ER again, since this felt a bit like what made me go in two years ago. Then about 4pm when I went into the closet under the stairs to get the vacuum cleaner, I realized what the problem was. Saturday night I'd been drinking but things had pretty much worn off by the time the game restarted, so I had a couple more beers and settled down to watch MY BEARS.

So 12:30 rolls around and we're still in this fucking game, driving down the field and scoring a TD to go up 17-13 late in the 3rd quarter. I'm jacked and nervous, all by myself, got to bleed off some energy. Rubbing one out seems inappropriate somehow, so I drag the coffee table over to the fireplace to give myself some room, and I take out my heavy aluminum 34/31 baseball bat that I bought in 1988 because I was sick of breaking wooden ones. Swing it a bit. Not good enough. Rummage in the closet and find my heavy bastard sword that I'd bought in Prague in 1998. 42" long, maybe a little over three pounds. Swing it a bit, realize I need to be symmetrical about it so I swing it the other way. Start chopping motions. Cat freaks out, leaves during a break in my spastic flailing. I'm nervously swinging and chopping that fucking thing for about 45 minutes as the Huskieies kick a few FGs and then let MY BEARS march down the field again for a game-winner. We wiin, I put the sword away and forget about it as I gleefully check the boreds for an hour in the middle of the fucking night. Yesterday was fine. Today, boom. Feels like somebody beat my ribs up with a 2x4. BW is gym fit but not late-night drunken sword swinging for an hour fit.

tl;dr: Mike Leach weeps for me, FYFMFE

YellowSnow

All I can picture is Japanese samurai sword and an Australian POW.

BearsWiin

YellowSnow said:

All I can picture is Japanese samurai sword and an Australian POW.

Think Star Wars kid instead

HuskyJW

BearsWiin said:

So I've been having chest tightness all day. Figured at first it was because of the lingering cough I have from a respiratory virus I had ten days ago, but this felt oddly different. Started wondering if I needed to hit the ER again, since this felt a bit like what made me go in two years ago. Then about 4pm when I went into the closet under the stairs to get the vacuum cleaner, I realized what the problem was. Saturday night I'd been drinking but things had pretty much worn off by the time the game restarted, so I had a couple more beers and settled down to watch MY BEARS.

So 12:30 rolls around and we're still in this fucking game, driving down the field and scoring a TD to go up 17-13 late in the 3rd quarter. I'm jacked and nervous, all by myself, got to bleed off some energy. Rubbing one out seems inappropriate somehow, so I drag the coffee table over to the fireplace to give myself some room, and I take out my heavy aluminum 34/31 baseball bat that I bought in 1988 because I was sick of breaking wooden ones. Swing it a bit. Not good enough. Rummage in the closet and find my heavy bastard sword that I'd bought in Prague in 1998. 42" long, maybe a little over three pounds. Swing it a bit, realize I need to be symmetrical about it so I swing it the other way. Start chopping motions. Cat freaks out, leaves during a break in my spastic flailing. I'm nervously swinging and chopping that fucking thing for about 45 minutes as the Huskieies kick a few FGs and then let MY BEARS march down the field again for a game-winner. We wiin, I put the sword away and forget about it as I gleefully check the boreds for an hour in the middle of the fucking night. Yesterday was fine. Today, boom. Feels like somebody beat my ribs up with a 2x4. BW is gym fit but not late-night drunken sword swinging for an hour fit.

tl;dr: Mike Leach weeps for me, FYFMFE

Things make a lot more sense now