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Proof Oregon sends its 4 stars into the league
PineapplePirate
Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 4,623 
Fine print disclaimer*: I know we are Hardcore Dwag fans here but I’d like to throw out some elite content for our Dcuk subscribers who donate. It’s been a hard time in Oregon so I’d thought we’d review the 2014-16 4 Star commits on 247 and see how well the program has developed them so that we can all have a relaxing care free day. I’d also like to prove to you that 4 Star recruits can make it to the league at Oregon and by the end I hope I have you convinced.
2016
Dillon Mitchell WR: Caught 21 balls this year for 230 yards. Jury still out, he’s young, he’s rested, he’s got to tan first. Outlook: JAG.
Tristan Wallace: HE GONE. Banned from the porking lot in Autzen, flagged for too much sexual assault.
Bryson Young DE: Made 2 tackles this year against Oregon State. Called mom afterwards to celebrate.
La’Mar Winston OLB: 44 tackles 2 sacks, was #1 rated recruit in Oregon in 2016, shows some flashes but plays like a JAG.
Brady Breeze DB: had an INT and 22 tackles in 2016, but he’s white, so he sucks and will continue to do so. He also might be in a witness protection program with that name.
Darrian Franklin OLB: hasn’t played a snap so he sucks.
2015
Canton Kaumatule DE: Oregon’s shinning recruit from the class which some had as a five star, sold the couch and transferred to UCF.
Taj Griffin RB: had a decent freshman year but was only able to play in 5 games this year running for a total of 74 yards and catching 68 more. Heisman campaign starting in 2018.
Travis Jonsen QB: can’t find the field much the less a wide receiver. In fact if you can spot him on the sideline I hear you get a free porking dog at the Autzen concession stands. Disclaimer: proof of sighting is necessary.
Alex Ofodile WR: caught a record 4 passes in the last two years with 31 receiving yards and a respectable 0 touchdowns.
Malik Lovette WR: tried him out at DB in 2016 but he sucked, moved him to WR and he did a much better job catching a football for 27 yards. He also has an elite YPC average of 27 YPC.
Kirk Merritt WR: Sold the couch “for the family” and went to A&M where exposing himself (send him an invite) landed him in Scooba Mississippi where he will see playing time on tv, on Netflix.
Zach Okun OG: Medically retired the couch. Strength and conditioning coach? One wouldn’t want to speculate.
2014
Arrion Springs DB: Oregon fans think he’s special, he’s the definition of a JAG, outside his 4 year totals of 2 interceptions, 97 solo tackles and 40 assists he has been lost in coverage, sucks at tackling in the open field and has a football IQ that measures in millimeters.
Jalen Brown WR: Couch sold. Caught 3 balls for mighty Northwestern this year.
Morgan Mahalak QB: A beast of a QB. Too good for Oregon and sold couch, plays for mighty Towson, in fact so good for them they keep him on the bench as the 2nd string QB because they don’t want him to get hurt, I think.
Tony Brooks-James RB: played in 9 games this year, ran for 354 yards (39 yds/game) with a 5.5 avg.
Jimmy Swain OLB: made 55 tackles this year, has never had the privilege of knowing what it’s like to sack a QB or intercept one at the college level.
Haniteli Lousi OG: community college wonder. Didn’t make the league.
Royce Freeman RB: Now we are talking! A 4 star Oregon recruit who will play in the NFL for a year! This boys and girls is the proof of Oregon sending those elite 4 Star high school athletes to the big time!
2016
Dillon Mitchell WR: Caught 21 balls this year for 230 yards. Jury still out, he’s young, he’s rested, he’s got to tan first. Outlook: JAG.
Tristan Wallace: HE GONE. Banned from the porking lot in Autzen, flagged for too much sexual assault.
Bryson Young DE: Made 2 tackles this year against Oregon State. Called mom afterwards to celebrate.
La’Mar Winston OLB: 44 tackles 2 sacks, was #1 rated recruit in Oregon in 2016, shows some flashes but plays like a JAG.
Brady Breeze DB: had an INT and 22 tackles in 2016, but he’s white, so he sucks and will continue to do so. He also might be in a witness protection program with that name.
Darrian Franklin OLB: hasn’t played a snap so he sucks.
2015
Canton Kaumatule DE: Oregon’s shinning recruit from the class which some had as a five star, sold the couch and transferred to UCF.
Taj Griffin RB: had a decent freshman year but was only able to play in 5 games this year running for a total of 74 yards and catching 68 more. Heisman campaign starting in 2018.
Travis Jonsen QB: can’t find the field much the less a wide receiver. In fact if you can spot him on the sideline I hear you get a free porking dog at the Autzen concession stands. Disclaimer: proof of sighting is necessary.
Alex Ofodile WR: caught a record 4 passes in the last two years with 31 receiving yards and a respectable 0 touchdowns.
Malik Lovette WR: tried him out at DB in 2016 but he sucked, moved him to WR and he did a much better job catching a football for 27 yards. He also has an elite YPC average of 27 YPC.
Kirk Merritt WR: Sold the couch “for the family” and went to A&M where exposing himself (send him an invite) landed him in Scooba Mississippi where he will see playing time on tv, on Netflix.
Zach Okun OG: Medically retired the couch. Strength and conditioning coach? One wouldn’t want to speculate.
2014
Arrion Springs DB: Oregon fans think he’s special, he’s the definition of a JAG, outside his 4 year totals of 2 interceptions, 97 solo tackles and 40 assists he has been lost in coverage, sucks at tackling in the open field and has a football IQ that measures in millimeters.
Jalen Brown WR: Couch sold. Caught 3 balls for mighty Northwestern this year.
Morgan Mahalak QB: A beast of a QB. Too good for Oregon and sold couch, plays for mighty Towson, in fact so good for them they keep him on the bench as the 2nd string QB because they don’t want him to get hurt, I think.
Tony Brooks-James RB: played in 9 games this year, ran for 354 yards (39 yds/game) with a 5.5 avg.
Jimmy Swain OLB: made 55 tackles this year, has never had the privilege of knowing what it’s like to sack a QB or intercept one at the college level.
Haniteli Lousi OG: community college wonder. Didn’t make the league.
Royce Freeman RB: Now we are talking! A 4 star Oregon recruit who will play in the NFL for a year! This boys and girls is the proof of Oregon sending those elite 4 Star high school athletes to the big time!
Comments
It's also the tale of a dying program. If you go back and look at what we did with our 4+ star recruits from 2000-2003 it looks a lot like this.
Guys just languishing and looking like shit. The occasional break through (Freeman = Reggie), but mostly just a bunch of slop.
Posting a water is wet thread is great.
Travis Jonsen was an elite 11 QB, though he went by Waller back then.
edit: and fuck...what do you know, he looks like a walking douche, too.
Something tells me the alcohol, weed and meth trade is gonna he hot over the next few years.