War Machine

Q: "Alex, I'll take what is a horrible name for a criminal defendant for $800"

http://www.news.com.au/sport/sports-life/war-machine-convicted-on-multiple-charges-over-attacking-porn-star-girlfriend-christy-mack/news-story/0739b66f7491bf82a2a3e2287a82d4bf

A MIXED martial arts fighter known as the “War Machine” has been found guilty on 29 out of 34 felony charges, including sexually assaulting and kidnapping his ex-porn star girlfriend.

Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver, who legally changed his name during his 19-fight MMA career, was accused of brutally attacking porn star, Christine Mackinday, and her friend, Corey Thomas, in August 2014.

"He's a good boy, just misunderstood"

Extra added hilarity-not-hilarity:

“He threw a dog blanket on her as she was convulsing from a lacerated liver and she still loved him,” prosecutor Jacqueline Bluth.

The jokes, they write themselves

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Pitchfork51

She shouldn't have been standing there.

RaceBannon

She looks like a Husky fan

Kaepsknee

Welcome to 20164

AlCzervik

He's not a Muslim so I don't care.

doogie

I thought this thread was going to be about Trumps commitment to modernize the military

TierbsHsotBoobs

I thought this thread was going to be about Trumps commitment to modernize the military

El. Oh. El.

AZDuck

They're all about taint licking, all the way down

PurpleJ

I thought this thread was going to be about Trumps commitment to modernize the military

The F-35 is looking great!

Mosster47

Here is what I don't get out of this super fucking old story.

She was doing porn before they started dating and kept doing it the whole time. I wonder if he had asked her multiple times to stop and she wouldn't or did he just keep it bottled up and finally snapped?

They're both trash people and this shit happens everyday everywhere in America, and no they aren't Mooslims. This story got blown up because he was kind of a decent fighter and she takes the D on camera.

RaceBannon

I don't need your war machine

I don't need your ghetto scene

PurpleThrobber

Big Little Lies.

phineas

Here is what I don't get out of this super fucking old story.

She was doing porn before they started dating and kept doing it the whole time. I wonder if he had asked her multiple times to stop and she wouldn't or did he just keep it bottled up and finally snapped?

They're both trash people and this shit happens everyday everywhere in America, and no they aren't Mooslims. This story got blown up because he was kind of a decent fighter and she takes the D on camera.

He was also doing porn himself.