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Annual CuntWaffle assistant coach ranking awards
Listen up you fucking dumbfucks. I have decided that I am important enough on this bored to appoint a pointless annual ranking system... on the top assistant coaches in our staff. This list is going to suck but fucking deal with it you faggots.
Feel free to chime in on your shit opinions as well.
1. Jimmy Lake - The God. Any other questions? That's what I thought.
2. Twatkoski - Thought about Hamden here and his recent resume. He's on track to be the #1 but the other Pete is the man for now. The first 2 games of his UW career he was the epitome of AIDS infested anal warts.... since then he has been a Demi-god.
3. Bush Hamden - This tranny banging champ is the fucking tits. We haven't had this good of a WR corps since like 3 years ago. I love Sales oriented terrorists.
Bob Gregory - your typical middle age white guy. Really good at his job, has a stable relationship with his wife and kids, but nothing out of this world.
Bonerfart - thanks for Gaskin and Salvon but you really haven't don't anything crazy
Malloe - Recruit one player you stupid fuck. Otherwise STAY
Chris Strausser - Racist faggot motherfuck. Great coach, shit recruiter, the ultimate hardcorehusky clan divider.
PaoPao - *clickclackluck* (racist tongue sound noises).
Jonathan Smith. Dumb fucking shit lesbian coach.
Thanks for reading!
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Comments
Everyone, even those that hate Washington, know he's the best DC this side of the country and top 3 easily, maybe even top 2.
And he's loyal as fuck to Petersen.
Told Oregon to go kill themselves when they came knocking.
Embarrasses the cuog without even trying, and without an offense.
Dude is the fucking man and everyone on campus knows it.
Lake and Hamden are great recruiters and deserve their money but K can find a use for any pos on the team.
Tier 1: Blue Diamond
Lake
Bush
Kawasaki
Tier 2: Diamond
Gregory
Bonehopper
PaoPao
Tier 3: Saphire
Malloe
Der Strausser
Tier 4: Petrified Turd
Babushka
I will say this much... Bonerpop seems like a fuckhead, but we did not fumble ONCE this year. Not once. And Lavon has improved a LOT.
He must be doing something that's not following hot chicks on twitter, eating donuts by the dozen and putting ridiculous pictures of him and his family on twitter.
Malloe is hard to evaluate at this point and Paopao hasn't been shitting himself in recruiting (though it's impossible to tell what he actually does), but I suspect Paopao could be replaced by almost anyone.
Tier 1: Pussy Slayers
Tier 2: Blow Slingers
Tier 3: Might be Faggots
Tier 4: Faggots for Sure
Although to be fair, I do like to rank assistant coaches, but mostly by height and girth. It's a thing I'm working through.
You whafro jeri curl faggot. You'd shit your pants on the spot if I caught you at the Aurora 7-11. Talking tuff on the HH bored takes big nuts. You must've found them in your twat.
You sound old, white and rich.
TIA.