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What we can do to help recruiting

Mad_SonMad_Son Member Posts: 10,110
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It is clear to everyone following the Alabama game that we are really close. The need for a new offensive coordinator aside, we still don't quite match up with Alabama in terms of personel though. A lot of our starters are every bit as good as theirs, but we lack depth, and in some position groups like OL we're hurting. I think that it is time that we the denizens of Hardcore Husky began to give back to the program like only we can. Sure, there are obviously financial contributions we can make, but I believe we can create value-adds that more directly will help with recruiting. Once word of our programs spreads parents will be clamoring to send their kids here.

1) The Harcore Husky Mentorship Program
This is obviously a front for giving the kids money while pretending to be offering career advice, life coaching, etc. The way it works is you meet at some coffee vendor - make sure the athletes buy their own coffee - and then as a token of gratitude the athlete busses the trash for you.
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2) The Hardcore Husky Alcohol for Minors Purchase Program
To the best of my knowledge the Bridge Program has a few gaps while introducing athletes to life at UW. For one it doesn't tell them who they can get alochol from. While they will inevitably figure it out in time, we can help them hit the ground running. We consume enough alochol here already that no one will notice the 5% uptick in alcohol purchases that it will take to supply the football team.
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3) The Hardcore Husky Academic Achievement Tutoring Program
Athletes already have tutors, but some of them follow the rules. These kids didn't go to UW to play school and we should quit making them waste their time on meaningless class work. I am certain that the vast majority of posters here are capable of replicating athlete-quality academic works. They will already teams carrying them in group projects so we will mostly only have to write essays and fill out Geology 101 worksheets.
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4) The Hardcore Husky Godparent Program
In the tragic event something should happen to an athletes family, we can all rest easier knowing that there are loving individuals like us ready to step in and take care of these kids. There should be plenty of space in my parent's basement for another sleeper sofa if I clear out some of the pizza boxes and I'm sure others here could do the same. Likewise if one of the athlete's dad's dies we could also marry in and become the new dad #2. The emotional safety net this provides will undoubtedly be popular with parents.
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5) The Hardcore Husky Job Placement Program
Now this will be tough since the majority of us are unemployed, but some of us here are in positions to provide guaranteed jobs for those who don't make it to the NFL. Race Bannon is always looking for qualified bark rakers and Dennis DeYoung probably will need a chauffeur for life. I can introduce some of them into my multi-level marketing program. We can make it known that when you join UW you're set for life.
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Now these are just a few of the many ways that we here at Hardcore Husky can help attract the best recruits to UW. If anyone else has GOOD ideas I'm happy to hear them. If this is highly effective maybe the UW AD will decide the sponsor the boards!
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    PurpleReignPurpleReign Member Posts: 5,457
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    Free blowjobs (from girls).
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    ThomasFremontThomasFremont Member Posts: 13,325
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    How the fuck did I not get any FREE PUB!!1! in the tutoring section?
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    Dennis_DeYoungDennis_DeYoung Member Posts: 14,754
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    backthepackbackthepack Member Posts: 19,801
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    edited January 2017

    Free blowjobs (from girls).

    What if they are gay? @Dennis_DeYoung's lawn guy will do it?
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    SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,086
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    I can get people into the Orkin trainee program and provide cocaine. I saw the beer program, but I hoard my beer. I cannot help with the tutoring program. I forgot how to address an envelope last week and thus think I would not be the best choice for this segment of the program.
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    SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,086
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    Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    I can get people into the Orkin trainee program and provide cocaine. I saw the beer program, but I hoard my beer. I cannot help with the tutoring program. I forgot how to address an envelope last week and thus think I would not be the best choice for this segment of the program.

    Does Orkin offer a friends & family discount? That might entice some players if they knew you could get them hooked up.
    I spray all my friends (2) and family (both Dads and ugly sister) for free. I do those when I am supposed to be doing paying customers houses. I never do those customers houses but we bill them anyway. When they call to complain I finally go over and do a poor job. I am usually high. And that's the pest control bidness for those wondering.
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    tenndawgtenndawg Member Posts: 1,161
    5 Awesomes First Anniversary First Comment 5 Up Votes
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I can get people into the Orkin trainee program and provide cocaine. I saw the beer program, but I hoard my beer. I cannot help with the tutoring program. I forgot how to address an envelope last week and thus think I would not be the best choice for this segment of the program.

    Does Orkin offer a friends & family discount? That might entice some players if they knew you could get them hooked up.
    I spray all my friends (2) and family (both Dads and ugly sister) for free. I do those when I am supposed to be doing paying customers houses. I never do those customers houses but we bill them anyway. When they call to complain I finally go over and do a poor job. I am usually high. And that's the pest control bidness for those wondering.
    You should be spraying sugar water to attract bugs at your wealthier clients houses

    Once you attract more bugs and rodents you can blame the prior owner for neglect, and sell them a much more expensive treatment to rid them of the infestation

    That's assuming you can negotiate yourself some of the increased fee - if you get paid the same no matter what then fuck it - if anything water the stuff down to ve passive - aggressive
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    SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,086
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Up Votes 5 Awesomes
    Founders Club
    tenndawg said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I can get people into the Orkin trainee program and provide cocaine. I saw the beer program, but I hoard my beer. I cannot help with the tutoring program. I forgot how to address an envelope last week and thus think I would not be the best choice for this segment of the program.

    Does Orkin offer a friends & family discount? That might entice some players if they knew you could get them hooked up.
    I spray all my friends (2) and family (both Dads and ugly sister) for free. I do those when I am supposed to be doing paying customers houses. I never do those customers houses but we bill them anyway. When they call to complain I finally go over and do a poor job. I am usually high. And that's the pest control bidness for those wondering.
    You should be spraying sugar water to attract bugs at your wealthier clients houses

    Once you attract more bugs and rodents you can blame the prior owner for neglect, and sell them a much more expensive treatment to rid them of the infestation

    That's assuming you can negotiate yourself some of the increased fee - if you get paid the same no matter what then fuck it - if anything water the stuff down to ve passive - aggressive
    Mixing sugar water would be hard while stoned. I could just drop granules of sugar all over the place.
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    Mad_SonMad_Son Member Posts: 10,110
    First Anniversary 5 Up Votes 5 Awesomes First Comment
    Swaye said:

    tenndawg said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I can get people into the Orkin trainee program and provide cocaine. I saw the beer program, but I hoard my beer. I cannot help with the tutoring program. I forgot how to address an envelope last week and thus think I would not be the best choice for this segment of the program.

    Does Orkin offer a friends & family discount? That might entice some players if they knew you could get them hooked up.
    I spray all my friends (2) and family (both Dads and ugly sister) for free. I do those when I am supposed to be doing paying customers houses. I never do those customers houses but we bill them anyway. When they call to complain I finally go over and do a poor job. I am usually high. And that's the pest control bidness for those wondering.
    You should be spraying sugar water to attract bugs at your wealthier clients houses

    Once you attract more bugs and rodents you can blame the prior owner for neglect, and sell them a much more expensive treatment to rid them of the infestation

    That's assuming you can negotiate yourself some of the increased fee - if you get paid the same no matter what then fuck it - if anything water the stuff down to ve passive - aggressive
    Mixing sugar water would be hard while stoned. I could just drop granules of sugar all over the place.
    And you say you're not smart. You've got street smarts my friend.
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    DeepSeaZDeepSeaZ Member Posts: 3,901
    5 Awesomes First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
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    PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 42,180
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    image

    Payback for Woody Hayes punching a Clemson kid.
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    backthepackbackthepack Member Posts: 19,801
    First Anniversary 5 Up Votes Combo Breaker 5 Awesomes
    edited January 2017

    image

    They are using sexual assault as a intimidation tactic meant to dominate the opposition... #Pac12FilmRoomwithYogiRoth
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    tenndawgtenndawg Member Posts: 1,161
    5 Awesomes First Anniversary First Comment 5 Up Votes
    Prison Rules Football
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