In Bama's Prison Rape of USC, the only thing missing was Sark

Hardcore_Husky

In Bama's Prison Rape of USC, the only thing missing was Sark

Alabama's crushing victory over USC lacked only Steve Sarkisian's all-too-familiar deer-in-the-headlights look.

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PostGameOrangeSlices

Probably not a good look for the site to mention prison rape in a front page article, el oh fucking el

PurpleJ

seattletimes.com/sports/uw-husky-football/report-alabama-to-hire-former-uw-coach-steve-sarkisian-as-a-special-offensive-assistant/

DerekJohnson

PurpleJ said:

seattletimes.com/sports/uw-husky-football/report-alabama-to-hire-former-uw-coach-steve-sarkisian-as-a-special-offensive-assistant/

LOL

PostGameOrangeSlices

shoots, brah 2.0

Like Sark is gonna stay off the booze and gals hangin with recently divorced Joey Freshwater

LOL

PurpleJ

DerekJohnson said:

PurpleJ said:

seattletimes.com/sports/uw-husky-football/report-alabama-to-hire-former-uw-coach-steve-sarkisian-as-a-special-offensive-assistant/

LOL

Saban is going to take Sark and use him on his staff just like Pete Carroll did. Gonna coach the coaches. Turn him back into a winner. And if Sark fucks up, Saban will kick his ass out. No questions asked. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. He did it with Lane Kiffin, and Sark could be next.

Saban is one savvy motherfucker, isn't he?

Credit to @RaceBannon on this theory. GREAT JOB RACE!!!!!1

TierbsHsotBoobs

PurpleJ said:

seattletimes.com/sports/uw-husky-football/report-alabama-to-hire-former-uw-coach-steve-sarkisian-as-a-special-offensive-assistant/

Clay Travis is the source, so I call bullshit.
https://mobile.twitter.com/ClayTravis/status/772253679118389249

PurpleJ

TierbsHsotBoobs said:

PurpleJ said:

seattletimes.com/sports/uw-husky-football/report-alabama-to-hire-former-uw-coach-steve-sarkisian-as-a-special-offensive-assistant/

Clay Travis is the source, so I call bullshit.
https://mobile.twitter.com/ClayTravis/status/772253679118389249

Either way it will be interesting. The USC scout board thought it was.

doogsinparadise

There's literally no upside for Saban in hiring Sark if you assume that he can mold coaches to suit his methodology.

DerekJohnson

If it's true, it's probably Saban doing this as a favor to Kiffen, nothing more. Sark will probably have no direct impact on the offense, but Kiffen and he will be able to talk late every night about bubble screens and/or bubble butts.

PurpleJ

doogsinparadise said:

There's literally no upside for Saban in hiring Sark if you assume that he can mold coaches to suit his methodology.

Sober Sark is a good QB coach, possibly an OC with some adjustments. Kiffin struggled at first until Saban fixed his shit up. Now all of a sudden, he's a better playcaller. They set up USC real good today, starting conservative and sucking them up to the LOS before killing them deep. Having talent helps, and they were both pretty successful under Carroll at USC. That's how they got head coaching gigs to begin with, right?

Either way, if Sark fucks up or won't play along with Saban, he should know that Saban can probably end his career. He basically has to go back to being a REAL head coach's bitch for a while. I'm sure Saban will make that fact evident behind closed doors.

If true...

PurpleJ

Tosh graduated from intern to a real position coach gig this year, btw. The Tide Rolls On...

PurpleJ

DerekJohnson said:

If it's true, it's probably Saban doing this as a favor to Kiffen, nothing more. Sark will probably have no direct impact on the offense, but Kiffen and he will be able to talk late every night about bubble screens and/or bubble butts.

Or Saban knows that Sark actually has something to offer as an assistant and he has nothing to lose, because he holds all the cards. He doesn't need to do favors for Lane. What would his motivation even be? Keeping him? He just let his DC go get a head coach job, so I doubt he intends on holding on to Lane. He wants him to graduate and maybe he thinks he can turn Sark into his replacement. Maybe not.

Sark isn't as big a dumbass as he gets made out to be. Not head coach material, sure, but he can actually be a decent assistant. Super Bowl champion Pete Carroll seems to agree, and people forget that Charlie Weiss was an abject failure as a HC but a bona fide success under Belichick.

DerekJohnson

PurpleJ said:

DerekJohnson said:

If it's true, it's probably Saban doing this as a favor to Kiffen, nothing more. Sark will probably have no direct impact on the offense, but Kiffen and he will be able to talk late every night about bubble screens and/or bubble butts.

Or Saban knows that Sark actually has something to offer as an assistant and he has nothing to lose, because he holds all the cards. He doesn't need to do favors for Lane. What would his motivation even be? Keeping him? He just let his DC go get a head coach job, so I doubt he intends on holding on to Lane. He wants him to graduate and maybe he thinks he can turn Sark into his replacement. Maybe not.

Sark isn't as big a dumbass as he gets made out to be. Not head coach material, sure, but he can actually be a decent assistant. Super Bowl champion Pete Carroll seems to agree, and people forget that Charlie Weiss was an abject failure as a HC but a bona fide success under Belichick.

Would you hire him as your OC?

That's what I thought.

doogsinparadise

PurpleJ said:

doogsinparadise said:

There's literally no upside for Saban in hiring Sark if you assume that he can mold coaches to suit his methodology.

Sober Sark is a good QB coach, possibly an OC with some adjustments. Kiffin struggled at first until Saban fixed his shit up. Now all of a sudden, he's a better playcaller. They set up USC real good today, starting conservative and sucking them up to the LOS before killing them deep. Having talent helps, and they were both pretty successful under Carroll at USC. That's how they got head coaching gigs to begin with, right?

Either way, if Sark fucks up or won't play along with Saban, he should know that Saban can probably end his career. He basically has to go back to being a REAL head coach's bitch for a while. I'm sure Saban will make that fact evident behind closed doors.

If true...

Sure...

After his record of incompetence at UW I'm not inclined to give Sark that much credit for his work under Pete at SC. He had Leinart, Bush, Williams, etc. of course they were going to set offensive records.

PurpleJ

DerekJohnson said:

PurpleJ said:

DerekJohnson said:

If it's true, it's probably Saban doing this as a favor to Kiffen, nothing more. Sark will probably have no direct impact on the offense, but Kiffen and he will be able to talk late every night about bubble screens and/or bubble butts.

Or Saban knows that Sark actually has something to offer as an assistant and he has nothing to lose, because he holds all the cards. He doesn't need to do favors for Lane. What would his motivation even be? Keeping him? He just let his DC go get a head coach job, so I doubt he intends on holding on to Lane. He wants him to graduate and maybe he thinks he can turn Sark into his replacement. Maybe not.

Sark isn't as big a dumbass as he gets made out to be. Not head coach material, sure, but he can actually be a decent assistant. Super Bowl champion Pete Carroll seems to agree, and people forget that Charlie Weiss was an abject failure as a HC but a bona fide success under Belichick.

Would you hire him as your OC?

That's what I thought.

He isn't being hired as an OC and I'm not Nick Saban.

He's an intern until he can prove the the head coach that he is worth a shit. HTH.

PurpleJ

How many national championships have you won Derek?

BrickSquad

Wish I could be in Alabama to witness Kiffin and Sark go full Bama on some SEC coeds

TierbsHsotBoobs

PurpleJ said:

DerekJohnson said:

PurpleJ said:

DerekJohnson said:

If it's true, it's probably Saban doing this as a favor to Kiffen, nothing more. Sark will probably have no direct impact on the offense, but Kiffen and he will be able to talk late every night about bubble screens and/or bubble butts.

Or Saban knows that Sark actually has something to offer as an assistant and he has nothing to lose, because he holds all the cards. He doesn't need to do favors for Lane. What would his motivation even be? Keeping him? He just let his DC go get a head coach job, so I doubt he intends on holding on to Lane. He wants him to graduate and maybe he thinks he can turn Sark into his replacement. Maybe not.

Sark isn't as big a dumbass as he gets made out to be. Not head coach material, sure, but he can actually be a decent assistant. Super Bowl champion Pete Carroll seems to agree, and people forget that Charlie Weiss was an abject failure as a HC but a bona fide success under Belichick.

Would you hire him as your OC?

That's what I thought.

He isn't being hired as an OC and I'm not Nick Saban.

He's an intern until he can prove the the head coach that he is worth a shit. HTH.

Someone needs to stock the liquor cabinets

Gladstone

The parallels between that and 2012 LSU was a great point I didn't think of.

DerekJohnson

BrickSquad said:

Wish I could be in Alabama to witness Kiffin and Sark go full Bama on some SEC coeds

La Tour Eifel