Born here and lived here most of my life. The funniest complaint is about the "Seattle Freeze" lodged by total pussies who crave attention and love to get through the day. I love giving fragile fucks the cold shoulder, i.e., "freeze." Fuck all of you and your shitty parents who gave you too little or too much attention, either way, not the amount you deserved. Shut the fuck up, do your business and get the fuck out of the way like a normal functional person, and I'll respect you. But it's not my job to be your friend, crutch, neighbor or shoulder to whine upon. Fuck. That. Shit. This was a frontier town where people got their hands dirty, ate from the woods and sea, and didn't shit a brick when someone didn't eat their brownies or shower them with attention. I want this city to return to it's cold, working class roots, when men were men and women put out gracefully and frequently to keep their man's nuts empty. Fuck skinny jeans. Fuck the new VW bugs, fuck traffic-blocking protesters, fuck safe-spaces, and pay for your own fucking drinks, cunts. And if you show up at my door with brownies, wanting to be my friend, I'll stick my 9mm in your face and tell you to fuck off. I have more important shit to do than be your surrogate mommy and daddy. Get a life or go the fuck back where you came from. Fuckers.
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