Drunken Ramblings: Sexually Transmitted Disease Edition

Swaye

So last night was pretty odd. It was the first game all year I have watched stone cold sober. What a stupid fucking decision. On both counts. Being sober, and watching the game at all.

Not even going to try to be funny or creative today, because this pile of shit program isn’t worth my time. It’s a fucking disgrace, a shadow of its former self, and it has become clear to this red bastard that nobody outside of the people on this bored give two shits. Not UC. Not the media. Not Kim Grinolds Smurf. Not the AD. Not Crazy Larry. Not even the coaching staff – they are just collecting checks and mailing this shit in.

Let’s pick up the action in the first quarter….

Dominating Washington drive capped by dropped pass.
Gaskin is a boss.

Let’s pick up the action in the second quarter…

Dominating Washington drive capped by dropped pass.
Take a knee instead of trying to do anything before the half. We don’t need points anyway, we’ve got Cobra!

Let’s pick up the action in the third quarter…

Decent Washington drive capped by dropped pass.
Brownshorts reemerges. Shit everywhere.
ASU commences anal stuffing. No lube.

Let’s pick up the action in the fourth quarter…

Decent Washington drive capped by dropped pass.
Brownshorts has shit himself so much he is now Brownsocks.
Defense starts doing bong rips between series. Hurry up, three and outs don't leave much time for the chronic.
ASU inserts plunger deeply and firmly. Woodward giggles into his scarf.

Post game…

Mickens takes to Twatter to explain his two catches make up for the 5 drops. #halfshirt
Mickens takes pictures with random ASU players on the field and links them to Instagram. #coolwitit
Peterman says Brownpants needs more time. Then blows him a kiss.
Defense refuses to fly on same plane with OC Babushka.

Stat of the game:

62 pass attempts. 18 rush attempts. Even the Crazy Pirate of the Palouse blushed when he read that.

What the fuck else needs to be said? We passed three times as much as we ran, our WRs couldn’t catch the clap in a Vietnamese whorehouse, our defense literally gave up in the fourth quarter, and ST looked like it had down’s.

That’s it. Nothing else to say. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2015 Washington Huskies. Kill it with fire. Please.

Muttzen

Its hard

Swaye

I stated last week I was 90 percent certain Peterman was not the guy.

Now we are 4-6. We are going 5-7. WSU will plunger us in the AC.

When this happens, and we are eliminated from bowl contention, I will be on record as 100 percent certain he is not the guy. Take all the SS you need. FTG.

dflea

Unfuckingreal is what that shit was.

I was supposed to fish for silvers yesterday, but we got drilled with rain for two straight days, and every river known to man was out of its banks. Even the creeks were raging.

So I said "fuck it - I'll watch the game.". What I should have done is tied fish hooks and then stuck them in my fucking eye so I'd never do something so fucking stupid again.

I told my wife at half we were going to lose the game. I fucking knew we were going to give it away. This team doesn't know how to play for a whole game. Then she started getting pissed at me for flipping out and yelling like I had Tourette's every time our receivers dropped a fucking pass. Browning's passes were late, wobbly, or out of reach - and our receiver's inability to catch a ball that hits their hands all made me want to start breaking shit.

I'll go down to the salt water and fish fucking bullheads and dogfish next weekend if I have to. I think it's unhealthy for me to watch UW games any more.

Swaye

dflea said:

Unfuckingreal is what that shit was.

I was supposed to fish for silvers yesterday, but we got drilled with rain for two straight days, and every river known to man was out of its banks. Even the creeks were raging.

So I said "fuck it - I'll watch the game.". What I should have done is tied fish hooks and then stuck them in my fucking eye so I'd never do something so fucking stupid again.

I told my wife at half we were going to lose the game. I fucking knew we were going to give it away. This team doesn't know how to play for a whole game. Then she started getting pissed at me for flipping out and yelling like I had Tourette's every time our receivers dropped a fucking pass. Browning's passes were late, wobbly, or out of reach - and our receiver's inability to catch a ball that hits their hands all made me want to start breaking shit.

I'll go down to the salt water and fish fucking bullheads and dogfish next weekend if I have to. I think it's unhealthy for me to watch UW games any more.

YBFE

section_332

Story time with Dr Suess Swaye is starting to be a great Sunday tradition.



I knew this team was going to lose when we got the ball with 4 minutes left in the 2nd quarter. A well coached team would have a long, methodical drive to kill time and the spirit of ASU

But no. 3 straight passes and a 3 and out. The coaching cost us games all year. It's so frustrating.

jecornel

Come on now....how special is that zona win now?

They just took it to the utes!!!

skookum

Instant Classic from the red bastard: "Brownshorts has shit himself so much he is now Brownsocks."

Fire_Marshall_Bill

can Mickens be stripped of his scholarship and sent back to Watts
now?

jecornel

Swaye said:

I stated last week I was 90 percent certain Peterman was not the guy.

Now we are 4-6. We are going 5-7. WSU will plunger us in the AC.

When this happens, and we are eliminated from bowl contention, I will be on record as 100 percent certain he is not the guy. Take all the SS you need. FTG.

I'm not convinced the beavs is a win.

This is shaping up to be the worst year second to 0-12.

Pete sucks.....and sucks badly.

They aren't beating the coogs.

No bowl game should mean no year 3 for Pete.

But Pete is the guy to continue the loser program status.

Swaye

jecornel said:

Swaye said:

I stated last week I was 90 percent certain Peterman was not the guy.

Now we are 4-6. We are going 5-7. WSU will plunger us in the AC.

When this happens, and we are eliminated from bowl contention, I will be on record as 100 percent certain he is not the guy. Take all the SS you need. FTG.

I'm not convinced the beavs is a win.

This is shaping up to be the worst year second to 0-12.

Pete sucks.....and sucks badly.

They aren't beating the coogs.

No bowl game should mean no year 3 for Pete.

But Pete is the guy to continue the loser program status.

Yeah, I had the Beavs penciled in as an absolute gimme until last night. Not sure where this teams head is going to be at. If we lose that game, Peterman really should be doused in gasoline and lit on fire.