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WWDJD?
skookum
Member Posts: 447
It's been more than a day, time enough for the wound to fester enough to drain off the pus, so here goes. But first let me start with a caveat, I have never played a single down of football, nor do I claim to know an X from an O. My sole qualification to second guess, carp and complain is a dial up connection. Online access instantly grants the user expert status. Such is the beauty of the interwebs.
I don't know what the many more capable coaching types might have done but here is what I would have done. First off, like 732 other poasters have complained about I would not have run a pitch on 3rd and goal from the 2. Enough about that.
The game is now tied. For some reason the Devils are moving the ball. WTF? Taylor NotSoSwift gets 2 lucky chucks and they score. The last throw in particular is troublesome. Even my grandma knew he was going to lob one to the endzone, and she died years ago. Granted, the devil pushed off but did not one single DB think of looking around to see if the crumpled QB had lofted a butterfly in that general direction. Lots of purple in the end zone but not a single one looking for the ball. Christ it took a full five seconds for that butterfly to find its way to the Devil receiver. Fuck
Okay, now it's 17-10 with 3 minutes remaining. This should be the point where Coach Peeny earns that Grand Theft Money he was gifted. This is what he should have done. Since it was obvious that Black Powerless has more than a few question marks floating around inside that golden chrome dome just make it simple for the kid. Peeny should have told him "you are going to run the same play six times in a row. Hand the ball to Shaq, that's it. Your goal is to run that play every 10 seconds. No huddle, no looking to the sidelines, line em up, snap it and hand it off. Six plays later and 35 yards down the field bring in the Wild Swede, for another quick burst then call time out. One left.
Get the troops together and line out the final assault. Make sure everyone know what is coming because there will be no time for hesitation on the field. Cooper runs it three times. It is 4 and 1 with Shaq back in. By now it has dawned on the slow thinking Devils and they know 7 is going to pound it. Play action fake to Shaq, look downfield to a streaking John Ross who is wide open but by no means throw because it is a 50/50 chance that the ball sails out of bounds and the game is over. Shaq is over in the flat, safe screen pass and he rumbles down to the 9.
Less than 30 seconds remaining, have to take a shot at the end zone. Kaysun runs a post to the corner, no one covers him because the Devils all know he is no longer a WR, merely the designated blocker. Meanwhile Midnight is locked onto his primary receiver, Jaydon Fumblefingers, but he's having a hard time seeing a clear path to his go to guy since the devils are in cover 10 with 6 DBs encircling the target. Meanwhile Kaysun is beginning to nod off over in the corner. Fortunately Shaq notices. He stayed in to block but with only 1 defender rushing he has time on his hands. Shaq strolls over, slaps Midnight on the side of the Golden Chrome Dome and points towards the now half awake Kaysun. Midnight rifles one right at the ankles of the lonely Blocker. Crap.
Second and goal hand it to Shaq who barrels down to the three. Yes! Now I could finish this fantasy scenario but here is where I hand it over to Peeny. I've done the heavy lifting. Time for Our Savior to earn his 3 mil. 18 seconds remaining and two chances to earn redemption. There you go Coach, you are welcome. Hint, no jet sweeps...think Woody Hayes. If Peeny can't get them in this time he should walk straight to midfield, take out a dull butter knife and disembowel himself.
Shaq would score, of course and it is tied. The big question, does Our Savior kick the extra point, opting to lose in overtime or does he go for the win. If he opts for the tie, get out the butter knife.
I know, cool story bro. Fuck all of you. I feel better.
I don't know what the many more capable coaching types might have done but here is what I would have done. First off, like 732 other poasters have complained about I would not have run a pitch on 3rd and goal from the 2. Enough about that.
The game is now tied. For some reason the Devils are moving the ball. WTF? Taylor NotSoSwift gets 2 lucky chucks and they score. The last throw in particular is troublesome. Even my grandma knew he was going to lob one to the endzone, and she died years ago. Granted, the devil pushed off but did not one single DB think of looking around to see if the crumpled QB had lofted a butterfly in that general direction. Lots of purple in the end zone but not a single one looking for the ball. Christ it took a full five seconds for that butterfly to find its way to the Devil receiver. Fuck
Okay, now it's 17-10 with 3 minutes remaining. This should be the point where Coach Peeny earns that Grand Theft Money he was gifted. This is what he should have done. Since it was obvious that Black Powerless has more than a few question marks floating around inside that golden chrome dome just make it simple for the kid. Peeny should have told him "you are going to run the same play six times in a row. Hand the ball to Shaq, that's it. Your goal is to run that play every 10 seconds. No huddle, no looking to the sidelines, line em up, snap it and hand it off. Six plays later and 35 yards down the field bring in the Wild Swede, for another quick burst then call time out. One left.
Get the troops together and line out the final assault. Make sure everyone know what is coming because there will be no time for hesitation on the field. Cooper runs it three times. It is 4 and 1 with Shaq back in. By now it has dawned on the slow thinking Devils and they know 7 is going to pound it. Play action fake to Shaq, look downfield to a streaking John Ross who is wide open but by no means throw because it is a 50/50 chance that the ball sails out of bounds and the game is over. Shaq is over in the flat, safe screen pass and he rumbles down to the 9.
Less than 30 seconds remaining, have to take a shot at the end zone. Kaysun runs a post to the corner, no one covers him because the Devils all know he is no longer a WR, merely the designated blocker. Meanwhile Midnight is locked onto his primary receiver, Jaydon Fumblefingers, but he's having a hard time seeing a clear path to his go to guy since the devils are in cover 10 with 6 DBs encircling the target. Meanwhile Kaysun is beginning to nod off over in the corner. Fortunately Shaq notices. He stayed in to block but with only 1 defender rushing he has time on his hands. Shaq strolls over, slaps Midnight on the side of the Golden Chrome Dome and points towards the now half awake Kaysun. Midnight rifles one right at the ankles of the lonely Blocker. Crap.
Second and goal hand it to Shaq who barrels down to the three. Yes! Now I could finish this fantasy scenario but here is where I hand it over to Peeny. I've done the heavy lifting. Time for Our Savior to earn his 3 mil. 18 seconds remaining and two chances to earn redemption. There you go Coach, you are welcome. Hint, no jet sweeps...think Woody Hayes. If Peeny can't get them in this time he should walk straight to midfield, take out a dull butter knife and disembowel himself.
Shaq would score, of course and it is tied. The big question, does Our Savior kick the extra point, opting to lose in overtime or does he go for the win. If he opts for the tie, get out the butter knife.
I know, cool story bro. Fuck all of you. I feel better.
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