2nd Annual Hardcore Husky Fucktard Invitational at Tetherow
DerekJohnson
Administrator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 62,350 
Well I got back into town yesterday after being down at Bend, Oregon for the 2nd annual HcH golf tourney. It was 93 degrees but felt fine until we hit the five hour mark, when I started to have a vertigo attack. But I knocked down two glasses of ice water and poured ice water over my head, and it went away and I felt fine. I did end skipping the 16th hole because of it though.
A year ago, I shot 65 for nine holes at Tetherow (after not playing golf for the previous 14 years). But last Friday (if we assume double bogey for the hole I missed), I shot 101 for 18 holes. I think it's legit for me to say that if the greens weren't sadistically cruel, I would have shot low-to-mid 90s for the day. Seriously, it was like putting on linoleum with all kinds of crazy undulations and ridges to deal with. We all struggled mightily with putting. But man did we have fun.
On the tenth hole, it was a 316 yard par 4. My tee shot went 298 yards to the base of the green. The Course Marshall drove up to us and said that due to the severe upward slope at the front of the green, and the brutal slope at the back of the green, he suggested that I not chip it but just wack it with a putter. I did not listen to his advice, made a horrible chip shot that failed to ascend the slope, chipped a second time, then three putted to end up with a ##$%#%@ double bogey!
The winner on the day was ChuckHIV with a 96. Chuck's brother shot a 100, I shot a 101 (again, assuming a double bogey on 16), and Yella shot a 122. What was impressive about ChuckHIV was that he was literally puking throughout the back nine, but like Jordan and the Game 6 flu game, "The HIV" came through in the clutch.
Unlike last year, when the skies of Bend were heavy with smoke, this time around they beamed a baby blue.
Yella was a great host, and got us $40 discounts due to his membership there.
I've known Chuck a long time but never before met him in person. Both he and his brother are great guys. I'm hopeful we can get his bro to post here someday because he would fit in with his sense of humor.
We had dinner afterward with a cool view of the course we had just "conquered". I would show a photo of it but because of our anti-doxxing rule, if I posted the pic I would have to ban myself.
Already looking forward to next year…
Comments
Technically gifted golf writing. You just forgot to say, “While Chuck battled bad Madras Messican, and Stalin the powerful, high desert heat, @YellowSnow relied on his row Peter puffer prowess, to go through beers like Grant going through Richmond.”
What was the in cart music selection?
None. I forbid it.
You already said if Teq was there you would have been listening to yacht rock all afternoon
@Tequilla would have forced the issue and I would have backed down. But still I remain anti cart music
It looks great but has a kind of a Wayne back 9 feel to it here and there.
Golf is for fun.
Music with golf makes it more fun.
Someday I hope to understand this Yella viewpoint.
I got a lukewarm Americano with heavy cream that tastes like corn flavored skim milk and fought off puking during the drive from Madras to Tetherow fri morning. Got there early enough for breakfast but all I felt safe trying was a side of fruit and a side of bacon. That was too much as it turned out. I painted some rattlesnake habitat Chile Colorado red on a couple of holes...I don't remember which. By 18 it was running clear but I was defeated. I had to sit out after my second shot went a mile left and just took a double.
The HIV flareup lasted well into Saturday. I finally ate and held some food down at about 6 last night. Today I wouldn't say I've made a Magic Johnson-like recovery but all is well.
It's definitely a great course. The greens are tough for sure. Fast is one thing and but it's the slopes and pin placements that do it. It's easy to find spots green side where you'd have to spin it like a pro to have any chance of getting a short wedge or chip near the hole.
I did, however, manage to sink one short chip that I had to play up into a side slope with a 90* bend back to the hole. Lone birdie of the day i think.
I felt good swinging the clubs in spite of the way my guts felt. I did a little bit of everything well but killed my score with concentration lapses leading to doubles.
A memorable time all in all. Derek and Yella are great dudes of course. Course was awesome. Weather was hot. Yella was a good host and brought beers (I drank one at the turn and of course donated it to the rattlesnakes unprocessed a few holes later).
My brother thinks it should be a scramble next time. We should get another team or two out for HH Fucktard Scramble 2025. If we played in my neighborhood maybe that'd be more in reach for other HH fucktards.
It says dogs must remain on leash at all times, but NOBODY has their dog on a leash there.
I can't relate to the desire for music on the course at all. I don't care what others do though, provided they keep it to themselves. The crew of douchebags a couple of holes behind us who were sharing their shitbag tunes with everyone in a 500 yard radius should have had their legs broken, however.
I'm pretty sure the Marshall had a word with them because it suddenly stopped and never started up again.
Thanks Taft!
Wayne was always wet like a bog
I think now that we’ve completed two Hardcore Husky Fucktard Opens we can try to expand into another foursome or two. I like the ideas of a scramble.
Golf is fun. Golf plus beer will is funner.
I suppose my cart aversion is twofold: (1) everyone I’ve ever seen playing music from a cart looks like a total douche canoe bro, with shitty taste in tunes; and (2) my hifi snobbery makes it hard for me to enjoy music through what ever crappy ass mobile speakers people use In golf carts.
Perhaps @CFetters_Nacho_Lover ’s beloved Sonos is coming out with some new amaze balls golf cart mid fi speakers.
I'm trying to remember if I've played any rounds this year without booze AND music. It's possible, but not many out of ~35 rounds.
Both is usually typical, with musical genre approved by all. And not exclusive to carts since it comes out when walking too.
The hifi snobbery I cannot relate to but I know you care about that stuff so it makes sense.
I refuse to go down a rabbit hole based on your snarky comments. Good day sir.
Most people prefer to make fun of you for being 5'5" and 4 bills, pal. This is a tired cliche.
I prefer to break your balls over Sonos.
Your omission of edibles has been so noted.