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PGOS guarantees of the week
PostGameOrangeSlices
Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 26,449 
I've recently taken up sports betting, and like everything else in life, in turns out I'm actually a savant and Allah's gift to the activity
So, in the spirit of never once being wrong - here are the IRON clad picks of the week to bet the 401k, mortgage, and savings on
The "iron" law of the PGOS sports betting ingenuity theory is that the spread is, 99.81% of the time, for pussies.
Minnesota @ #24 Illinois (+7) - Illini is a big home dog to a Minnesota team that got shit on at home in a loss to Purdue. Bert will have the boys ready to rumble in a 12-9 barn burner that will net you +220 if you bet on the home team and the ghost of Juice Williams
#3 Alabama @ #6 Tennessee (+8.5) - Derek's favorite team is legit this year. They toyed with Brian Kelly, and also Brian Kelly, in a tuff Death Valley environment. Bama should've lost to fucking Sark, their QB is hurt, and this is the year the Vols get the elephant off their back. +260 Tennessee gets it done.
#19 Kansas (+8.5) @ Oklahoma - Vegas, Bovada, etc. are smoking crack with this line. This is the Capri Sun lock of the week to take Kansas straight up on the road. Oklahoma fucking sucks and Kansas somehow doesn't. Their backup QB is better than every UW QB these past 15 years not named Price or Penix. If you hate money - don't bet on Kansas here at +255
Washington State (+3.5) @ Oregon State - This is the pick I feel the least confident on - but I'm still pretty sure the +140 cuogs get it done in front of 29k soggy beavers on a damp Reeser night. Cuogs defense plays amazing for 3 quarters and then falls apart against a good offense (quook and trooj). Beavis does not have a *good* offense.
non football pick of the week
Houston Astros @ Seattle Mariners (-1.5) - The Mariners are going to beat the Astros at home by at least 2 runs (+190). They probably sweep the Astros at home, Mooriners fans are moorin', and then Seattle will lose game 5 in Houston in the least clutch way possible, to somehow make this series as agonizing as it could've ever been. The game 1, 2 out pitch will forever haunt this wretched franchise. As it should.
This will be a recurring feature as long as I continue to make money on sports bets. Or not.
So, in the spirit of never once being wrong - here are the IRON clad picks of the week to bet the 401k, mortgage, and savings on
The "iron" law of the PGOS sports betting ingenuity theory is that the spread is, 99.81% of the time, for pussies.
Minnesota @ #24 Illinois (+7) - Illini is a big home dog to a Minnesota team that got shit on at home in a loss to Purdue. Bert will have the boys ready to rumble in a 12-9 barn burner that will net you +220 if you bet on the home team and the ghost of Juice Williams
#3 Alabama @ #6 Tennessee (+8.5) - Derek's favorite team is legit this year. They toyed with Brian Kelly, and also Brian Kelly, in a tuff Death Valley environment. Bama should've lost to fucking Sark, their QB is hurt, and this is the year the Vols get the elephant off their back. +260 Tennessee gets it done.
#19 Kansas (+8.5) @ Oklahoma - Vegas, Bovada, etc. are smoking crack with this line. This is the Capri Sun lock of the week to take Kansas straight up on the road. Oklahoma fucking sucks and Kansas somehow doesn't. Their backup QB is better than every UW QB these past 15 years not named Price or Penix. If you hate money - don't bet on Kansas here at +255
Washington State (+3.5) @ Oregon State - This is the pick I feel the least confident on - but I'm still pretty sure the +140 cuogs get it done in front of 29k soggy beavers on a damp Reeser night. Cuogs defense plays amazing for 3 quarters and then falls apart against a good offense (quook and trooj). Beavis does not have a *good* offense.
non football pick of the week
Houston Astros @ Seattle Mariners (-1.5) - The Mariners are going to beat the Astros at home by at least 2 runs (+190). They probably sweep the Astros at home, Mooriners fans are moorin', and then Seattle will lose game 5 in Houston in the least clutch way possible, to somehow make this series as agonizing as it could've ever been. The game 1, 2 out pitch will forever haunt this wretched franchise. As it should.
This will be a recurring feature as long as I continue to make money on sports bets. Or not.
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Comments
Fucking guy is drooling on himself and he won sports betting?
No fucking way…put him out to pasture
This is must win for Sark and he knows it. Sark gets the win, rather easily, before being on the receiving end of the @ Oklahoma State, @ Kansas State plunger in the next two games. 5-4 and playing with house money.
Would not be surprised if DAWG legend Kwat gets run this offseason.
If Texas somehow makes it to 6-3 that would, quite honestly, be a decent Sark effort.
I'm not even mad, it's actually morbidly impressive