Kind of got felt up by a biker at a dive last night....wish I was kidding. #metoo
Only felt up? That's it?!
I was sitting at the bar minding my own business, sneaking pics of the bartender, but I'm near the ordering place. This fat fuck biker does something weird (I forgot). Then he introduces himself. He's wasted out of his mind. Half an hour later, he sets his beer on my head. I'm 5-10, maybe 177 lbs. I haven't been in a fight since 1993. He'd kill me. Just being honest. He's at least 250. Later, he grabs me on my chest. Creepy mother fucker. I'm guessing he's just out of prison and his white trash step dad did bad things to him.
That's why you take a mental note and come up behind him with an improvised bludgeon. Go for the knees first, crippling him. Then go to town. Conversely, you could smash a bottle on his face and aim to blind him, but this is risky. You have to swing that thing hard. Or just let him have his way with you. Your choice.
A couple Kulshan coffee stouts and a couple Freemont Dark Stars.
I likes my stouts and porters and browns (lotsa amazing sours now, although they used to all suck balls). IPA is the equivalent of Starbucks coffee and stupidly flaming hot sauce: bitter and nasty and over the top so small-dick guys can prove how Tac Town Tuff they are, then it kills their tastebuds until the only thing that registers even is burnt nasty coffee, Dave's Insanity Sauce, and 100+ IBU bitter ass beer. There's nowhere to go from there.
Sad for me, as it means that I have to wade through 10,000 identical IPAs at the grocery store before I can find a decent stout that isn't overpriced and ruined by bourbon barrel aging.
Irish Death is good and easy to find. Good roast/malt balance without being too heavy.
A couple Kulshan coffee stouts and a couple Freemont Dark Stars.
I likes my stouts and porters and browns (lotsa amazing sours now, although they used to all suck balls). IPA is the equivalent of Starbucks coffee and stupidly flaming hot sauce: bitter and nasty and over the top so small-dick guys can prove how Tac Town Tuff they are, then it kills their tastebuds until the only thing that registers even is burnt nasty coffee, Dave's Insanity Sauce, and 100+ IBU bitter ass beer. There's nowhere to go from there.
Sad for me, as it means that I have to wade through 10,000 identical IPAs at the grocery store before I can find a decent stout that isn't overpriced and ruined by bourbon barrel aging.
Irish Death is good and easy to find. Good roast/malt balance without being too heavy.
There seem to be breweries that really brew on the "sweet" side. My limited impression is that the ones that do do so across their whole lineup. Like a bit too malty for my taste. Rogue and Lagunitas are prime culprits in this regard. One of my coworkers is really into Irish Death, so I've had several with him, but it's not my favorite. Not too sweet, but closer than I'd like. If Irish Death is all that's there, I'll usually just punt and grab a case of Newcastle or Negra Modelo.
A couple Kulshan coffee stouts and a couple Freemont Dark Stars.
I likes my stouts and porters and browns (lotsa amazing sours now, although they used to all suck balls). IPA is the equivalent of Starbucks coffee and stupidly flaming hot sauce: bitter and nasty and over the top so small-dick guys can prove how Tac Town Tuff they are, then it kills their tastebuds until the only thing that registers even is burnt nasty coffee, Dave's Insanity Sauce, and 100+ IBU bitter ass beer. There's nowhere to go from there.
Sad for me, as it means that I have to wade through 10,000 identical IPAs at the grocery store before I can find a decent stout that isn't overpriced and ruined by bourbon barrel aging.
I don't drink IPA's you sagging cock holster.
Starbucks is dope tho. Love Howard Shultz as a person. Go Thunder!
A couple Kulshan coffee stouts and a couple Freemont Dark Stars.
I likes my stouts and porters and browns (lotsa amazing sours now, although they used to all suck balls). IPA is the equivalent of Starbucks coffee and stupidly flaming hot sauce: bitter and nasty and over the top so small-dick guys can prove how Tac Town Tuff they are, then it kills their tastebuds until the only thing that registers even is burnt nasty coffee, Dave's Insanity Sauce, and 100+ IBU bitter ass beer. There's nowhere to go from there.
Sad for me, as it means that I have to wade through 10,000 identical IPAs at the grocery store before I can find a decent stout that isn't overpriced and ruined by bourbon barrel aging.
I don't drink IPA's you sagging cock holster.
Starbucks is dope tho. Love Howard Shultz as a person. Go Thunder!
Fuck it. Call me an asshole, but Rainier is about the worst beer I've ever drank, and I've drank a lot of shitty beer. Excluding Schmidt or Schaefer (canned abortion juice), Rainier is the worst of the fucking lot. And the bar is low, considering in about 1980 I choked down luke-warm Columbia in cans, left in my buddy's long-dead grandpa's garage, put there in about 1965. Yup. And Rainer is worse.
I swilled some PBR's while I was mowing my dirt in the afternoon. CLS came over about 7 and brought some enchilada dish she had made and all the shit for margaritas. So, grubbed down on her enchiladas, got pretty toasty on Casa Noble Crystal margs that she whipped up, then buried my face in her ample tits for the rest of the night. CSB, I know.
She brought the Tequila, and I am not a margarita elite like some of you fags so I have no idea if that Tequila is a "good" brand or not, but she bought it so it was a dealers choice type thing. Tasted good. Enchiladas weren't bad either. Tits were magnificent. No pics fags.
I have been shitting liquid fire for two days after those enchiladas. My asshole feels like it's been rubbed with 800 grit sandpaper made of napalm. Perhaps CLS has gotten her revenge?
Fuck it. Call me an asshole, but Rainier is about the worst beer I've ever drank, and I've drank a lot of shitty beer. Excluding Schmidt or Schaefer (canned abortion juice), Rainier is the worst of the fucking lot. And the bar is low, considering in about 1980 I choked down luke-warm Columbia in cans, left in my buddy's long-dead grandpa's garage, put there in about 1965. Yup. And Rainer is worse.
I swilled some PBR's while I was mowing my dirt in the afternoon. CLS came over about 7 and brought some enchilada dish she had made and all the shit for margaritas. So, grubbed down on her enchiladas, got pretty toasty on Casa Noble Crystal margs that she whipped up, then buried my face in her ample tits for the rest of the night. CSB, I know.
She brought the Tequila, and I am not a margarita elite like some of you fags so I have no idea if that Tequila is a "good" brand or not, but she bought it so it was a dealers choice type thing. Tasted good. Enchiladas weren't bad either. Tits were magnificent. No pics fags.
I have been shitting liquid fire for two days after those enchiladas. My asshole feels like it's been rubbed with 800 grit sandpaper made of napalm. Perhaps CLS has gotten her revenge?
Take it to the pants shitting thread Chief Firebottom!
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Starbucks is dope tho. Love Howard Shultz as a person. Go Thunder!
It worked.