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Duckfighter Illustrated: Reporting on his trip to Atlanta

24

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  • Gladstone
    Gladstone Member Posts: 16,425
    I blacked in during the Make a Wish bullshit. GRAA, Race.
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  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    You know why this article deserves to be flagged.
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  • Swaye
    Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,741 Founders Club
    What if I want to slide into Bolivian?
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  • YellowSnow
    YellowSnow Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,695 Founders Club
    Swaye said:

    What if I want to slide into Bolivian?

    Do the Bolivians make marching powder too?
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  • jecornel
    jecornel Member Posts: 9,737
    In respects to the pregame prayer, I was feeling good from the liquid diet before the game. Didn't phase me much.

    The dude was well wishing a bunch of people he didn't know. That was cool.

    I'm sure the bama fans loved it except for the fact he was black man.

    Also the Georgia dome was a great venue.

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  • whatshouldicareabout
    whatshouldicareabout Member Posts: 13,014
    Considering that Washington is a church school and that Petersen is nicknamed "The Bishop", I think we should start every football game with a prayer.
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  • GrundleStiltzkin
    GrundleStiltzkin Member Posts: 61,516 Standard Supporter
    Dardanus said:

    Race Bannon sat alone in a downtown Atlanta hotel room. The smell of booze and pills filled the room.

    Quietly, Race chewed on an extinguished cigar. As he thumbed through the latest issue of Ebony, a faint warmth spread between his legs.

    Then, as suddenly as it arrived, it passed.

    "Christ," he muttered to himself.

    His fingers were sore and cracked from flipping page after page after page. He had no idea how long he'd been laboring over this miserable necessity, but he was not ready to give up yet.

    He let out a deep breath and prepared to continue working. The 10 AM glare burned through the window.

    But as he set his rheumy eyes on an advertisement promising never-before-seen length and rigidity, a single phrase crept into his dulled consciousness.

    Oh Alabama

    He shook it off and returned to the ad, searching for a 1-800 number that might offer some solace. But he couldn't focus on the page. His mind was stuck.

    You got the spare change
    You've got to feel strange

    "What is happening?" He wondered aloud to a pile of soiled men's and women's underwear. He hadn't felt anything like this in years. "How long has it been?" He put a hand to his forehead, unable to remember as the thoughts came roaring back.

    Alabama, you got the weight on your shoulders
    That's breaking your back

    "NO!" He cried. "It can't be!!"

    Your Cadillac has got a wheel in the ditch
    And a wheel on the track

    The words flooded him, haunting and invigorating him in a crazed tunnel of energy. It was an avalanche of emotion and he was powerless to do anything but absorb every word and note.

    What are you doing Alabama?


    Alabama...


    Alabama...

    ...



    He awoke sometime later. He didn't know how long it had been. Hours? Days? Weeks? He would never know. Never be able to explain what had happened. Who would listen? or care?

    With a sigh, he reached over and found the magazine, determined to finish his personal Kobayashi Maru. But deep in his mind, he knew Alabama would always be there.

    image

    You earned the full Bolton from "this miserable necessity" alone.
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