Welcome to the Hardcore Husky Forums. Folks who are well-known in Cyberland and not that dumb.
What I'm hearing
GrundleStiltzkin
Member Posts: 61,516 
I not only puked all over myself, I also shit the bed. It took me 5min of constant loofa stubbing in the shower to get all the dried shit off my legs and ass. The funny part is... It was not my bed. Or my shower. Or my loofa.
Tagged:
Comments
-
If fake teats are your thing I guess. Who cares bout her flat white ass. What do you do with tits? You can slide cock betwixt, you can dump on, but they mean little in the grand scheme. Ass is important. Thats what you stare at while puttin a poundins on. Big tits just get lost in the shuffle.
-
So one night I went on a booze cruise around lower Manhattan with some friends. It was an open bar so we were all completely hammered. On the way back to my town we decided to get some 4lokos and go out to a bar for a few more drinks. I remember starting my second 4loko and then I woke up to a beeping noise. I opened my eyes and saw myself hooked up to all these heart monitors with two IV?s in my arms. I immediately freaked out and tore everything off of me. The nurses came running in screaming so I screamed back at them demanding to know what had happened. They said I had already told them when I was brought in on a stretcher: They told me, that what I told them had happened was I got drunk, lost my friends, and phone died. I left the bar, walked to my car, and decided I was too drunk to drive home so decided to lay down on the ground beside my car and take a nap to sleep it off. Apparently a cop making the rounds came over and woke me up. He asked if I was ok and I replied yes, just too drunk to drive so I rather sleep. He asked me if I needed to go to the hospital. I asked him if they have water at the hospital. After he assured me there was water at the hospital, I demanded that I needed to be taken to the hospital so he called me an ambulance. Upon leaving the hospital I heard a familiar voice freaking out just as I had earlier. I peaked in the room and saw that it was my friend asking what the heck happened to him. The nurse asked if we knew each other, we said yes. She put her hand over her head and said: same story, except this guy wanted to know if hospitals had beds.
-
I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
-
@DerekJohnson AKA Stalin, can we move this to the classics bored? TIA
-
I'm laughing my ass off, but I clearly missed something.
-
Link?????GrundleStiltzkin said:I not only puked all over myself, I also shit the bed. It took me 5min of constant loofa stubbing in the shower to get all the dried shit off my legs and ass. The funny part is... It was not my bed. Or my shower. Or my loofa.
-
Had 2 four lokos and 8 shots...went up stairs puked in the girl's room sink then lie down on her bed...girl comes in the room and starts hooking up with me and doesnt notice that i had puked in her sink. My frined comes in the room doesnt notice me hooking up with her and goes in the bathroom i puked in and throws up everywhere in it. Both throw ups in her bathroom were blamed on him and the girl never knew i threw up. i love four lokoDugtheDoog said:
Link?????GrundleStiltzkin said:I not only puked all over myself, I also shit the bed. It took me 5min of constant loofa stubbing in the shower to get all the dried shit off my legs and ass. The funny part is... It was not my bed. Or my shower. Or my loofa.
-
I just did sex so hard to this girl. She was moaning and stuff and I did sex so hard and so good with her. She was all "Please have good sex with me" and I said back "Yeah, I'm going to really sex you so great lady" and she's like "Thanks". It was so good and so hot and we both loved doing sex in all positions. At the end I was all "Hey, I'm going to finish sex now" and she said "Yes, that would be nice if you finished so hard on that towel". I said "Yes" and so I finished so hard on the towel.
-
After hearing all the hub-bub about this "blackout in a can" I felt compelled to try this stuff out. I went and bought four of the grape flavor. Looked innocent enough..but that first drink..OMFG..It was like drinking gamma rays laced with cough syrup. Just awful. Being the true drunkard I am I proceeded to drink 3 of them. Feeling the rush of energy coursing through my body I got antsy,and jumpy. Finished the last one & then went to a bar with friends..when I showed up The people around me kept asking me for coke...I was that jacked. A few pitchers/shots and a few poorly done karaoke songs later..I woke up in bed with a bunch of cuts on both hands, my face covered in blood/vomit and fully dressed. My phone was going craaaazy. My head felt like it was split with a dull tomahawk..I try to leave to get something to eat and my car is not there. Great..maybe I will check my phone now. Several angry text/voice messages later and I come to find out I didnt quietly leave the bar after singing two karaoke songs..Thats just when I blacked out. From second hand stories I guess i was heckling some other karaoke singers when some guy tried to start a fight with me...I guess I punched him out, spit on his girlfriend..threw a few bar stools..started fighting the bouncers..getting thrown outside in the parking lot onto my face and proceeded to try to punch out car windows whilst leaving the parking lot. Got into my car and terrorized my poor passenger for 13 city blocks, driving on curbs and throwing up in his lap..I then forgot the gate code to my apartment complex so I left my car at the front gate, lights on, blocking the gate. 8 stitches in my head, cast on right hand..bar might be pressing charges and I may be getting evicted. But hey no DUI. Four Loko is no effing joke.
-
Four loko is what started rape culture.
