Sexual Harassment Training

Swaye · April 2016

So Orkin decided we all need a half day training on sexual harassment.

I just found out they think it is wrong to grope another employees tits. Stupid.

Also, discussing a porn movie you watched is wrong. Stupid.

Also, "mobbing" an employee is wrong. Stupid.

I didn't even know what "mobbing" is, but it sounds like something I watched in a porno.

I'm going to mention this the next time the instructor asks if there are any questions.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Swaye · April 2016

Instructor was "aghast" at my question. I had to ask what that meant.

Now talking about ethnic origins and sexual identification.

When they get to me I'm claiming attack helicopter.

Swaye · April 2016

They just showed a video clip of sexual harassment between a male boss and his secretary. But, she had huge, and I mean huge tits. I don't think that even can be discrimination when a woman has tits that big. Not the guy's fault. This is stupid.

Swaye · April 2016

Yes I am going to keep giving a play by play of this bullshit because it is the only thing keeping me sane. It's either that or start jerking off the next time they show a clip of "big tits," and I think based on the tenor of the class so far that jerking off in front of co-workers is probably also wrong. Stupid.

PurpleThrobber · April 2016

Swaye said:
Yes I am going to keep giving a play by play of this bullshit because it is the only thing keeping me sane. It's either that or start jerking off the next time they show a clip of "big tits," and I think based on the tenor of the class so far that jerking off in front of co-workers is probably also wrong. Stupid.

Can you post some pics of said big tits?

Axing for a fren.

Swaye · April 2016

PurpleThrobber said:

Swaye said:
Yes I am going to keep giving a play by play of this bullshit because it is the only thing keeping me sane. It's either that or start jerking off the next time they show a clip of "big tits," and I think based on the tenor of the class so far that jerking off in front of co-workers is probably also wrong. Stupid.
Can you post some pics of said big tits?

Axing for a fren.

I think they frown on that. They seem to frown on everything fun. It's too bad I am not at my desk so I could pull some Irish Whiskey out of the top drawer, which they said was wrong earlier this morning. I made sure to tell them I know a very successful real estate agent who says everyone does it. Instructor asked me to stay after for special training. I am pretty sure she is going to try to fuck me. She's fat though, like Jen Cohen. Bummer.

sarktastic · April 2016

"you don't seem to be taking this seriously"

Swaye · April 2016

Q&A session upcoming. I plan to ask what the policy is on bringing hookers back to my hotel room while on company travel. Want to make sure I didn't violate any policies last week.

sarktastic · April 2016

When she keeps you after class, make sure she catches you staring at her tits several times as if you want to milk them... then ask her if she wants to go get a cocktail later.

Swaye · April 2016

sarktastic said:
When she keeps you after class, make sure she catches you staring at her tits several times as if you want to milk them... then ask her if she wants to go get a cocktail later.

This is good advice if she didn't look like a water buffalo. Picture Jen Cohen to visualize.

Swaye · April 2016

It seems paying for hookers in your hotel room is totally cool as long as you don't expense them. Who knew?

Fat instructor seems aggravated with me. I'll offer her a hot dog at lunch to smooth things over.

sarktastic · April 2016

Swaye said:

sarktastic said:
When she keeps you after class, make sure she catches you staring at her tits several times as if you want to milk them... then ask her if she wants to go get a cocktail later.
This is good advice if she didn't look like a water buffalo. Picture Jen Cohen to visualize.

To lessen her hostility, She needs to feel appreciated in a cute girl kinda way. Time to take one for the Team, Swaye

Swaye · April 2016

Just went on break. I've been asked to not return. I plan to claim discrimination. I learned it in the class.

DerekJohnson · April 2016

edited to add a new tag

dnc · April 2016

DerekJohnson said:
edited to add a new tag

"The Orkin Chronicles"

I laffed

sarktastic · April 2016

Swaye said:
Just went on break. I've been asked to not return. I plan to claim discrimination. I learned it in the class.

Make sure you accuse her in front of the group of being insensitive to Native American culture... or ignorant, which is worse.

Then, rise slowly and stoically, stand silent, shed a single tear and leave slowly as if you've been shamed... then wait in the hallway for a sympathy candidate to approach you at the next break.

Swaye · April 2016

Just had a meeting with my boss. Says I was first employee ever asked to leave the training. Told me to go to my cubicle while they decide what to do. I have Clem at Jiffy Lube on speed dial in case I need the "tanned, rested, and ready" call later today.

sarktastic · April 2016

Better call Saul

Fire_Marshall_Bill · April 2016

You're my hero Swaye

dnc · April 2016

Fire_Marshall_Bill said:
You're my hero Swaye

@Swaye is the hero we deserve AND the hero we need. Red skinned abundance.

PurpleThrobber · April 2016

dnc said:

Fire_Marshall_Bill said:
You're my hero Swaye
@Swaye is the hero we deserve AND the hero we need. Red skinned abundance.

Trump and Swaye 2016!

Make (native) America great again.

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