OFFICIAL Washington vs. UCLA Game Thread

Where my Dawgs at!!??

Listen up, Ucla. I’ve been locked in the Padelford Garage for 24 hours straight, tailgating so hard the walls are sweating. I turned Level C into a weight room. Been benching transmissions and curling parking meters. My biceps have their own ZIP code now.

You think your Bruins can handle this? HA. We’ve got a bomb cyclone atmospheric river slamming Seattle like Thor’s hammer dipped in espresso. Wind so strong it ripped the sleeves off my hoodie, which is perfect because sleeves are for cowards. Rain so heavy it’s basically liquid Husky dominance falling from the sky.

Bruins don’t even know what weather is. They cry when it’s 68 degrees and “chilly.” Tonight? It’s gonna be a purple hurricane of pain. I’m hydrating with black coffee and motor oil. My blood type is now “victory.”

If you’re a Ucla fan reading this, meet me in Padelford Level D. I’ll be the guy doing deadlifts with a Prius while screaming the fight song. Bring your best. Bring your sunscreen. Bring your tears.

Padelford out. Dawgs by a million.