Can't believe this is real life (Bye Bye Purple Program of Mine redux)

Our president actually did the right thing for UW football.

We've come a long way from bringing Ty back for 2008, baby!

Some of this has aged better than others but this is how I felt 16 short years ago. Grateful we might just survive.

#NeverForget


A long, long time ago...
I can still remember

How that pigskin used to make me smile
And I knew if Mora had his chance

That he could make those people dance

And, surely, they’d be happy for a while



But December 07 made me shiver

With every paper I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
We headed backwards one more step.


I can’t remember if I cried

When I read that we were keeping Ty

But something touched me deep inside

The day the pigskin died

So bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"this’ll be the day that I die."



Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in Jake above
If the Bible tells you so?

Do you believe in purple ’n gold
Can Locker save your mortal soul
And can you teach Ty how to coach?



Well, we all know Baer can’t coach
Cause Ducks and Coogs can’t wait to play him 

They both kicked our asses

Tim missed his sideline passes


I was a lonely teenage barkin’ Dawg

With a purple W on my pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck

The day the pigskin died

So bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"this’ll be the day that I die."



Now for five years we’ve been on our own

And moss grows fat on our old gravestone

But that’s not how it used to be

Then the midgets played for the man boobs king

And then Ty was hired to make our program clean

Despite the cries from the Irish fiends



Oh, and while Tawd was a blogging clown
The Tyster made our fanbase frown

The treadmills were upgraded

We all feel fucking jaded

The Top Dawg wants us to look like the Ducks

Ty needs more bullets and a little luck 

We can only sing dirges in the dark

The day the pigskin died

We were singing
Bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"This’ll be the day that I die."





Chocolatey milk in a summer practice
How did our players ever live without this?

One and eight against our northwest rivals
We lose to fowl on the grass
And couldn’t even stop a noodle arm pass
Even the Beavs have no trouble beating this cast



Now the half-time air was sweet perfume

Eight four and one when that whistle blew! 

We all got up to dance
Oh, but we never got the chance!

Cuse the opponent came out to take the field
With two quarters left before they’d yield
Do you recall what was revealed

The day the program died?



We started singing
Bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"This’ll be the day that I die."





Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation in disgrace

With no time left to start again
So come on: Jake be nimble, Jake be quick!

The Savior’s neck took a wicked hit

Cause pain is the devil’s only friend

Oh, and as I watched Todd on the stage

My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No AD born in hell

Could top that Vandy spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night

To light the sacrificial rite

I saw Tawdy laughing with delight

The day the pigskin died



He was singing
Bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"This’ll be the day that I die."





I met a Hugh who sang the blues

And I asked him for some happy news
But he just smiled and turned away

I went down to the sacred field

Where I’d seen the pigskin years before
But the man there said the pigskin wouldn’t play.

And in the streets: The boosters screamed
The Tyees cried, and the rivals dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The ole touchdown siren was broken

And the three men that I hate the most
The Top Dawg, Ty, and ole Emmert’s ghost
They set a tee time for the course

The day the pigskin died

And they were singing
Bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"This’ll be the day that I die."



They were singing
Bye-bye, purple program of mine
Drove DawgDaysNight to celebrate
But the rest of us cried
And Lloyd St Claire was drinking Zima and wine

Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die"
"This’ll be the day that I die."