UO/UW Pre Game Eugene area tour Extravaganza. Pre-order your tickets now. $81 per person. Arrive with a sweatpants boner and receive a 10% discount.ITINERARY8:30 am - Breakfast followed by an early morning swim in the McKenzie river.

10:00 am - Autzen Stadium. Meet and greet with the Auzten rapist.

10:30 am - Piss balloon making demonstration.

11:00 am - Wheelchair raffle. Section 38. See how far you can push Race's grandmother down the stairs.

11:30 am - Slurpees and weiners at the 7-11 on Coburg Road.

12:00 pm - BRB, JO Hour. Basements provided.

2:30 pm - Brunch with Kip Kinkel at the Lane County Jail.

4:00 pm - Umpqua National Forest. Smoke it all with Darron Thomas.

6:30 pm - Dinner. All you can eat taters with Mark Helfrich.

8:00 pm - Corner of 7th Avenue and Polk Street. Hookers and blow in Colt Lyerla's car.

Get them while they last! Homosexual poasters: Ask about the HH Bathhouse member special discount.
Comments
What are we supposed to do for the other 2 hours, 29 minutes, and 53 seconds?