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How to Stop Having A Sex Life - Make an Excel List of All the Times Your Wife Won't Have Sex

AZDuck
AZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
edited July 2014 in Tug Tavern

Comments

  • whatshouldicareabout
    whatshouldicareabout Member Posts: 12,992
    Ha, that reminds me of something I did when I lived with some random roommates in college.

    I made a list of all the fucking stupid things they did, such as leaving raw chicken out on the kitchen counter overnight, trying to grill hamburgers on the oven rack wiring, putting clam shells in the garbage disposal (twice!), and much, much more.

    The goal of getting to 100 by the end of the year, but I gave up when I reached 50 after one month.
  • AZDuck
    AZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    edited July 2014
    Every now and again me and Mrs. AZDuck get into arguments where one or the other of us threatens to compile a list showing just how right each of us is, but both of us have thus far thought better of actually compiling said list because it would probably end the marriage.

    This guy had better get a divorce lawyer on retainer, stat.
  • haie
    haie Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 23,856 Founders Club
    From 6/3 to 7/16 she laid him 3 times.

    door.ass.out.

    Seriously, any girl who's not expecting some irritation from her bf/husband after that is too fucking stupid to be marriage material.
  • PurpleBaze
    PurpleBaze Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 30,333 Founders Club
    Only because Louis CK is hilarious...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0--sA5Ah74
  • oregonblitzkrieg
    oregonblitzkrieg Member Posts: 15,288
    This guy should be honest and also compile a list of how many times he whacked it to porn during that timetable.
  • greenblood
    greenblood Member Posts: 14,560

    This guy should be honest and also compile a list of how many times he whacked it to porn during that timetable.

    OBK is right. Sounds like he doesn't compliment is wife enough, which explains her lack of confidence. A couple of private "I like that shirt with those jeans", "I like what you did with your hair" does wonders. Having a list of 10 to go to, and just sprinkling them around would increase his action by at least double. Or......................He could look like Fatters, and his wife is just being nice instead of telling him the real reason she won't bare saddle his vine. Who knows.....
  • Mosster47
    Mosster47 Member Posts: 6,246
    Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.
  • allpurpleallgold
    allpurpleallgold Member Posts: 8,771
    The guy is a douche. But you have to be a special kind of bitch to not put out when you're drunk.
  • dnc
    dnc Member Posts: 56,840

    The guy is a douche. But you have to be a special kind of bitch to not put out when you're drunk.

    what if you feel gross?
  • HuskyJW
    HuskyJW Member Posts: 15,316
    I need to find one of these girls.

    Not kidding.
    Mosster47 said:

    Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.

  • Mosster47
    Mosster47 Member Posts: 6,246
    HuskyJW said:

    I need to find one of these girls.

    Not kidding.

    Mosster47 said:

    Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.


    PM @IrishDawg22‌, I hear he has that stuff dialed in.
  • MisterEm
    MisterEm Member Posts: 6,685

    Mosster47 said:

    HuskyJW said:

    I need to find one of these girls.

    Not kidding.

    Mosster47 said:

    Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.


    PM @IrishDawg22‌, I hear he has that stuff dialed in.
    Or wait for @Swaye‌'s next PSA on how to pick up sloots with low self-esteem
    Leykis jr?

  • Fire_Marshall_Bill
    Fire_Marshall_Bill Member Posts: 25,688 Standard Supporter
    Those women will weasel their way in to your place real fast. They'll also call you demanding you help with car trouble, make international calls on your phone, and go fuck other random guys.
  • Dick_B
    Dick_B Member Posts: 1,301
    1) Sunday
    2) Monday
    3) Tuesday
    4) Wednesday
    5) Thursday
    6) Friday
    7) Saturday

    Lather
    Rinse
    Repeat
  • AZDuck
    AZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    edited August 2014
    http://youtu.be/sQ_7EEgDDVA
    Dick_B said:

    1) Sunday
    2) Monday
    3) Tuesday
    4) Wednesday
    5) Thursday
    6) Friday
    7) Saturday

    Lather
    Rinse
    Repeat