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The Vid 0/.19% My Eye Problem 3%

LebamDawgLebamDawg Member Posts: 8,703 Standard Supporter
So I got informed a couple of weeks ago I need to have surgery on my eye. Only 3% of the population gets this condition. I know - I am special. but the Vid is taking all the space in the hospitals so I figured I would get surgery in 2022 when everything goes back to normal.

Hell no - I have to go in on Monday to Allenmore Hospital in Tac-town. I leave my totally safe haven of Pacific county and head into the Vid territory. Hospital is probably infested with that shit.

Right now the Vid has infected 0.19% with deaths at 0.009% (USofA) - my eye issue happens to 3% of the population. I don't see (SWIDT) the government out forcing everyone to get their retina* examined. Anyway, I will be kind of off this hell hole while I attempt to get better - what I have is a macular hole. I noticed that when I was at one of the finer establishments down in South Bend playing pool, I couldn't focus because of the little floating things. I still won but it started to get tough, I am sure pounding beers did not help that much.

here is a cross section of my right eye - the horizontal line goes thru the macula which is the thin area. the thicker membrane is the retina lining


This one is my left eye with the hole right at the macula. Neat factoid - the macula is the only part of the eye that sees perfectly clear pictures and sees all color. I guess the rest of the retina is just along for the ride?


The surgery is called Vitrectomy - trust me don't look it up as the next cartoon will describe what they are going to do. The vitreous humor is sucked out of the eye, then scar tissue removed from the area around the macula. Then they replace the fluid with a gas. Voila - done. Only takes 40-60 minutes in surgery. The recovery is what the fun part is - I have to stay in a face down position 45 minutes out of every hour for 5-6 days. I will have patches on constantly for the first 2-3 weeks. The gas bubble will dissipate over a period of 3-7 months, with natural vitreous humor returning. That is the other part that is fun - as the bubble goes away, my vision will be blurred looking over the top of the bubble. I was told it would be like a floating mirror reflecting lights and glares.



I know - CSB


*Retina not Rectum perverts

Comments

  • LebamDawgLebamDawg Member Posts: 8,703 Standard Supporter

    Was that eye condition caused by masturbating furiously?

    Axing for a fren.

    I don't think so - I usually take my time I hear slowly is better
  • Dude61Dude61 Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 1,250 Swaye's Wigwam
    Buddy of mine just had this done. No problemo.

    Th VID is another issue.
  • RoadTripRoadTrip Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 7,726 Founders Club
    You better have x-ray vision after that's all said and done.
  • TurdBomberTurdBomber Member Posts: 19,942 Standard Supporter
    Squeamish stuff like that gives me shooting pains in my groin.

    My way of feeling empathy, I guess. Kinda like seeing Lena Dunham makes my junk turn inward.
  • YouKnowItYouKnowIt Member Posts: 542
    @GrandpaSankey there's hope for you after all
  • GrandpaSankeyGrandpaSankey Member Posts: 956
    YouKnowIt said:

    @GrandpaSankey there's hope for you after all

    Grandpa Albert Sankey already was blind in one eye five years ago before glaucoma shut the lights all the way out.

    There is no good time to go blind, of course, but for a Southern grandfather with a football-aged grandson — that was a little extra sand in the face.

    The kid was good, too. And keeps getting better.

    University of Washington running back Bishop Sankey is the NCAA’s leading rusher, and he ran for 125 yards and scored twice as No. 15 Washington was narrowly edged at No. 5 Stanford.

    And Albert Stankey was there watching.
    “I feel good. I feel like I can get out there and put on a suit (uniform),” Albert Sankey told the Seattle Times this week. “I could be the fullback. I could block for Bishop!”

    A few weeks ago, Grandpa Stankey received a cornea transplant at UCLA’s Laser Refractive Center. When he took off the eye patch after surgery, he saw the nurse.

    “I was blind and now I can see,” he said. “It’s a miracle.”

    Stankey watched Bishop run for 161 yards on a school-record 40 carries last week in a win over Arizona, but that was merely on television.

    This week was for real, out there smelling the leaves, hearing the band . . . and most importantly, witnessing his grandson firsthand.

    “I can’t wait to hug him,” grandpa Sankey said, “and see his face.”
  • PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 43,965 Standard Supporter

    YouKnowIt said:

    @GrandpaSankey there's hope for you after all

    Grandpa Albert Sankey already was blind in one eye five years ago before glaucoma shut the lights all the way out.

    There is no good time to go blind, of course, but for a Southern grandfather with a football-aged grandson — that was a little extra sand in the face.

    The kid was good, too. And keeps getting better.

    University of Washington running back Bishop Sankey is the NCAA’s leading rusher, and he ran for 125 yards and scored twice as No. 15 Washington was narrowly edged at No. 5 Stanford.

    And Albert Stankey was there watching.
    “I feel good. I feel like I can get out there and put on a suit (uniform),” Albert Sankey told the Seattle Times this week. “I could be the fullback. I could block for Bishop!”

    A few weeks ago, Grandpa Stankey received a cornea transplant at UCLA’s Laser Refractive Center. When he took off the eye patch after surgery, he saw the nurse.

    “I was blind and now I can see,” he said. “It’s a miracle.”

    Stankey watched Bishop run for 161 yards on a school-record 40 carries last week in a win over Arizona, but that was merely on television.

    This week was for real, out there smelling the leaves, hearing the band . . . and most importantly, witnessing his grandson firsthand.

    “I can’t wait to hug him,” grandpa Sankey said, “and see his face.”

    Next week's headline: COVID kills Grandpa Sankey after hugs from former NFL player.

  • PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 43,965 Standard Supporter

    YouKnowIt said:

    @GrandpaSankey there's hope for you after all

    Grandpa Albert Sankey already was blind in one eye five years ago before glaucoma shut the lights all the way out.

    There is no good time to go blind, of course, but for a Southern grandfather with a football-aged grandson — that was a little extra sand in the face.

    The kid was good, too. And keeps getting better.

    University of Washington running back Bishop Sankey is the NCAA’s leading rusher, and he ran for 125 yards and scored twice as No. 15 Washington was narrowly edged at No. 5 Stanford.

    And Albert Stankey was there watching.
    “I feel good. I feel like I can get out there and put on a suit (uniform),” Albert Sankey told the Seattle Times this week. “I could be the fullback. I could block for Bishop!”

    A few weeks ago, Grandpa Stankey received a cornea transplant at UCLA’s Laser Refractive Center. When he took off the eye patch after surgery, he saw the nurse.

    “I was blind and now I can see,” he said. “It’s a miracle.”

    Stankey watched Bishop run for 161 yards on a school-record 40 carries last week in a win over Arizona, but that was merely on television.

    This week was for real, out there smelling the leaves, hearing the band . . . and most importantly, witnessing his grandson firsthand.

    “I can’t wait to hug him,” grandpa Sankey said, “and see his face.”

    Next week's headline: COVID kills Grandpa Sankey after hugs from former NFL player.


    Fuck that braille shit. It translates like shit to American sign language.

    The Throbber is deaf, you heartless blind bastard.


  • GrandpaSankeyGrandpaSankey Member Posts: 956

    YouKnowIt said:

    @GrandpaSankey there's hope for you after all

    Grandpa Albert Sankey already was blind in one eye five years ago before glaucoma shut the lights all the way out.

    There is no good time to go blind, of course, but for a Southern grandfather with a football-aged grandson — that was a little extra sand in the face.

    The kid was good, too. And keeps getting better.

    University of Washington running back Bishop Sankey is the NCAA’s leading rusher, and he ran for 125 yards and scored twice as No. 15 Washington was narrowly edged at No. 5 Stanford.

    And Albert Stankey was there watching.
    “I feel good. I feel like I can get out there and put on a suit (uniform),” Albert Sankey told the Seattle Times this week. “I could be the fullback. I could block for Bishop!”

    A few weeks ago, Grandpa Stankey received a cornea transplant at UCLA’s Laser Refractive Center. When he took off the eye patch after surgery, he saw the nurse.

    “I was blind and now I can see,” he said. “It’s a miracle.”

    Stankey watched Bishop run for 161 yards on a school-record 40 carries last week in a win over Arizona, but that was merely on television.

    This week was for real, out there smelling the leaves, hearing the band . . . and most importantly, witnessing his grandson firsthand.

    “I can’t wait to hug him,” grandpa Sankey said, “and see his face.”

    Next week's headline: COVID kills Grandpa Sankey after hugs from former NFL player.


    Fuck that braille shit. It translates like shit to American sign language.

    The Throbber is deaf, you heartless blind bastard.


    Odd, you always struck me as the kind of guy who likes to use his hands.
  • GrandpaSankeyGrandpaSankey Member Posts: 956

    YouKnowIt said:

    @GrandpaSankey there's hope for you after all

    Grandpa Albert Sankey already was blind in one eye five years ago before glaucoma shut the lights all the way out.

    There is no good time to go blind, of course, but for a Southern grandfather with a football-aged grandson — that was a little extra sand in the face.

    The kid was good, too. And keeps getting better.

    University of Washington running back Bishop Sankey is the NCAA’s leading rusher, and he ran for 125 yards and scored twice as No. 15 Washington was narrowly edged at No. 5 Stanford.

    And Albert Stankey was there watching.
    “I feel good. I feel like I can get out there and put on a suit (uniform),” Albert Sankey told the Seattle Times this week. “I could be the fullback. I could block for Bishop!”

    A few weeks ago, Grandpa Stankey received a cornea transplant at UCLA’s Laser Refractive Center. When he took off the eye patch after surgery, he saw the nurse.

    “I was blind and now I can see,” he said. “It’s a miracle.”

    Stankey watched Bishop run for 161 yards on a school-record 40 carries last week in a win over Arizona, but that was merely on television.

    This week was for real, out there smelling the leaves, hearing the band . . . and most importantly, witnessing his grandson firsthand.

    “I can’t wait to hug him,” grandpa Sankey said, “and see his face.”

    Next week's headline: COVID kills Grandpa Sankey after hugs from former NFL player.


    Fuck that braille shit. It translates like shit to American sign language.

    The Throbber is deaf, you heartless blind bastard.


    Odd, you always struck me as the kind of guy who likes to use his hands.
    I must really be blind because I don't see any chins on this post.
  • BleachedAnusDawgBleachedAnusDawg Member Posts: 11,440
    LebamDawg said:

    So I got informed a couple of weeks ago I need to have surgery on my eye. Only 3% of the population gets this condition. I know - I am special. but the Vid is taking all the space in the hospitals so I figured I would get surgery in 2022 when everything goes back to normal.

    Hell no - I have to go in on Monday to Allenmore Hospital in Tac-town. I leave my totally safe haven of Pacific county and head into the Vid territory. Hospital is probably infested with that shit.

    Right now the Vid has infected 0.19% with deaths at 0.009% (USofA) - my eye issue happens to 3% of the population. I don't see (SWIDT) the government out forcing everyone to get their retina* examined. Anyway, I will be kind of off this hell hole while I attempt to get better - what I have is a macular hole. I noticed that when I was at one of the finer establishments down in South Bend playing pool, I couldn't focus because of the little floating things. I still won but it started to get tough, I am sure pounding beers did not help that much.

    here is a cross section of my right eye - the horizontal line goes thru the macula which is the thin area. the thicker membrane is the retina lining


    This one is my left eye with the hole right at the macula. Neat factoid - the macula is the only part of the eye that sees perfectly clear pictures and sees all color. I guess the rest of the retina is just along for the ride?


    The surgery is called Vitrectomy - trust me don't look it up as the next cartoon will describe what they are going to do. The vitreous humor is sucked out of the eye, then scar tissue removed from the area around the macula. Then they replace the fluid with a gas. Voila - done. Only takes 40-60 minutes in surgery. The recovery is what the fun part is - I have to stay in a face down position 45 minutes out of every hour for 5-6 days. I will have patches on constantly for the first 2-3 weeks. The gas bubble will dissipate over a period of 3-7 months, with natural vitreous humor returning. That is the other part that is fun - as the bubble goes away, my vision will be blurred looking over the top of the bubble. I was told it would be like a floating mirror reflecting lights and glares.



    I know - CSB


    *Retina not Rectum perverts

    Macula too hole-y
  • LebamDawgLebamDawg Member Posts: 8,703 Standard Supporter

    Just shut the fuck up and get the fucking shot you racist. I heard if you mix and match the vaccines (kind of like graveyard soda like we did at pizza places as kids) then it can cure your eye and also enable you to shoot lasers out of it too.

    I heard that if one will mix and match alcohol, going from whisky to beer, then wine and off to brandy - things happen;
    1 - no virus can survive and I stopped investigating at that point.

    So mix and match booze >>>> mix and match vaccine

    PS I finish up with the eye in July of 2022 for a final exam.
  • 46XiJCAB46XiJCAB Member Posts: 20,967
    Good luck, happy healing.
  • SledogSledog Member Posts: 33,649 Standard Supporter
    Sounds like a bitch! Hope all goes well!
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