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IrishDawg's COTW - Superbowl Edition

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Comments

  • RaccoonHarryRaccoonHarry Member Posts: 2,161
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,507 Founders Club

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
  • PostGameOrangeSlicesPostGameOrangeSlices Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 26,243 Swaye's Wigwam
    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
  • PurpleJPurpleJ Member Posts: 37,315 Founders Club
    You got a link to some nudes?
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,507 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
    image
  • PostGameOrangeSlicesPostGameOrangeSlices Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 26,243 Swaye's Wigwam
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
    image
    ....

    Biblical context, dude.
  • PurpleJPurpleJ Member Posts: 37,315 Founders Club
    Jesus didn't write the bible. He was just one of the main characters.

  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,507 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
    image
    ....

    Biblical context, dude.
    I'm still pissed about Stonewall Jackson shitting on my other story.
  • PostGameOrangeSlicesPostGameOrangeSlices Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 26,243 Swaye's Wigwam
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
    image
    ....

    Biblical context, dude.
    I'm still pissed about Stonewall Jackson shitting on my other story.
    I was trollin', I have no idea who my great-great-great grandfather was. Your story still wins
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,507 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
    image
    ....

    Biblical context, dude.
    I'm still pissed about Stonewall Jackson shitting on my other story.
    I was trollin', I have no idea who my great-great-great grandfather was. Your story still wins
    Sweet. You will enjoy my LT Dan story.
  • ApostleofGriefApostleofGrief Member Posts: 3,904

    image

    image

    Makeup too heavy

  • The Bible (from Koine Greek τὰ βιβλία, tà biblía, "the books") is a canonical collection of texts considered sacred in Judaism as well as in Christianity. There is no single "Bible": many Bibles exist with varying contents.[1] The term Bible is shared between Judaism and Christianity, although the contents of each of their collections of canonical texts is not the same. Different religious groups include different books within their canons, in different orders, and sometimes divide or combine books, or incorporate additional material into canonical books.
    The Hebrew Bible, or Tanakh, contains twenty-four books divided into three parts: the five books of the Torah ("teaching" or "law"), the Nevi'im ("prophets"), and the Ketuvim ("writings").
    Christian Bibles range from the sixty-six books of the Protestant canon to the eighty-one books of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church canon. The first part of Christian Bibles is the Old Testament, which contains, at minimum, the twenty-four books of the Hebrew Bible divided into thirty-nine books and ordered differently than the Hebrew Bible. The Catholic Church and Eastern Christian churches also hold certain deuterocanonical books and passages to be part of the Old Testament canon. The second part is the New Testament, containing twenty-seven books: the four Canonical gospels, Acts of the Apostles, twenty-one Epistles or letters, and the Book of Revelation.
    By the 2nd century BCE Jewish groups had called the Bible books "holy," and Christians now commonly call the Old and New Testaments of the Christian Bible "The Holy Bible" (τὰ βιβλία τὰ ἅγια, tà biblía tà ágia) or "the Holy Scriptures" (η Αγία Γραφή, e Agía Graphḗ). Many Christians consider the whole canonical text of the Bible to be divinely inspired. The oldest surviving complete Christian Bibles are Greek manuscripts from the 4th century. The oldest Tanakh manuscript in Hebrew and Aramaic dates to the 10th century CE,[2] but an early 4th-century Septuagint translation is found in the Codex Vaticanus. The Bible was divided into chapters in the 13th century by Stephen Langton and into verses in the 16th century by French printer Robert Estienne[3] and is now usually cited by book, chapter, and verse.
    The Bible is widely considered to be the best selling book of all time,[4] has estimated annual sales of 100 million copies,[5][6] and has been a major influence on literature and history, especially in the West where it was the first mass-printed book.
    Contents [hide]
    1 Etymology
    2 Development
    3 Hebrew Bible
    3.1 Torah
    3.2 Nevi'im
    3.2.1 Former Prophets
    3.2.1.1 Joshua
    3.2.1.2 Judges
    3.2.1.3 Samuel
    3.2.1.4 Kings
    3.2.2 Latter Prophets
    3.2.2.1 Isaiah
    3.2.2.2 Jeremiah
    3.2.2.3 Ezekiel
    3.2.2.4 Twelve Minor Prophets
    3.3 Ketuvim
    3.3.1 The poetic books
    3.3.2 The five scrolls (Hamesh Megillot)
    3.3.3 Other books
    3.3.4 Order of the books
    3.3.5 Canonization
    3.4 Original languages
    4 Septuagint
    4.1 Incorporations from Theodotion
    4.2 Final form
    5 Christian Bibles
    5.1 Old Testament
    5.1.1 Apocryphal or deuterocanonical books
    5.1.2 Pseudepigraphal texts
    5.1.2.1 Book of Enoch
    5.1.2.2 Denominational views of Pseudepigrapha
    5.1.3 Role of Old Testament in Christian theology
    5.2 New Testament
    5.2.1 Original language
    5.2.2 Historic editions
    5.3 Development of the Christian canons
    5.3.1 Ethiopian Orthodox canon
    6 Divine inspiration
    7 Versions and translations
    8 Views
    8.1 Other religions
    8.2 Biblical studies
    8.3 Higher criticism
    9 Archaeological and historical research
    10 Criticism
    11 See also
    12 Endnotes
    13 References and further reading
    Etymology



    An American family Bible dating to 1859.
    The English word Bible is from the Latin biblia, from the same word in Medieval Latin and Late Latin and ultimately from Koine Greek τὰ βιβλία ta biblia "the books" (singular βιβλίον biblion).[7]
    Medieval Latin biblia is short for biblia sacra "holy book", while biblia in Greek and Late Latin is neuter plural (gen. bibliorum). It gradually came to be regarded as a feminine singular noun (biblia, gen. bibliae) in medieval Latin, and so the word was loaned as a singular into the vernaculars of Western Europe.[8] Latin biblia sacra "holy books" translates Greek τὰ βιβλία τὰ ἅγια ta biblia ta hagia, "the holy books".[9]
    The word βιβλίον itself had the literal meaning of "paper" or "scroll" and came to be used as the ordinary word for "book". It is the diminutive of βύβλος bublos, "Egyptian papyrus", possibly so called from the name of the Phoenician sea port Byblos (also known as Gebal) from whence Egyptian papyrus was exported to Greece. The Greek ta biblia (lit. "little papyrus books")[10] was "an expression Hellenistic Jews used to describe their sacred books (the Septuagint).[11][12] Christian use of the term can be traced to ca. 223 CE.[7] The biblical scholar F.F. Bruce notes that Chrysostom appears to be the first writer (in his Homilies on Matthew, delivered between 386 and 388) to use the Greek phrase ta biblia ("the books") to describe both the Old and New Testaments together.[13]
    Development

    John Riches states that "the biblical texts themselves are the result of a creative dialogue between ancient traditions and different communities through the ages",[14] and "the biblical texts were produced over a period in which the living conditions of the writers – political, cultural, economic, and ecological – varied enormously".[15]
    Timothy H. Lim, a professor of Hebrew Bible and Second Temple Judaism at the University of Edinburgh, states that the Old Testament "was not written by one man, nor did it drop down from heaven as assumed by fundamentalists. It is not a magical book, but a collection of authoritative texts of apparently divine origin that went through a human process of writing and editing.”[16] During the solidification of the Hebrew canon (circa 3d century BCE), the Bible began to be translated into Greek, now referred to as the Septuagint.[17]
    In Christian Bibles, the New Testament Gospels were derived from oral traditions (similar to the Hebrew Bible) in a period after Jesus's death,
    Scholars have attempted to reconstruct something of the history of the oral traditions behind the Gospels, but the results have not been too encouraging. The period of transmission is short: less than 40 years passed between the death of Jesus and the writing of Mark's Gospel. This means that there was little time for oral traditions to assume fixed form.[18]
    The Bible was later translated into Latin and other languages. John Riches states that,
    The translation of the Bible into Latin marks the beginning of a parting of the ways between Western Latin-speaking Christianity and Eastern Christianity, which spoke Greek, Syriac, Coptic, Ethiopic, and other languages. The Bibles of the Eastern Churches vary considerably: the Ethiopic Orthodox canon includes 81 books and contains many apocalyptic texts, such as were found at Qumran and subsequently excluded from the Jewish canon. As a general rule, one can say that the Orthodox Churches generally follow the Septuagint in including more books in their Old Testaments than are in the Jewish canon.[18]
    Hebrew Bible

    Main article: Development of the Hebrew Bible canon


    The Nash Papyrus (2nd century BCE) contains a portion of a pre-Masoretic Text, specifically the Ten Commandments and the Shema Yisrael prayer.
    The Masoretic Text is the authoritative Hebrew text of the Hebrew Bible. While the Masoretic Text defines the books of the Jewish canon, it also defines the precise letter-text of these biblical books, with their vocalization and accentuation.
    The oldest extant manuscripts of the Masoretic Text date from approximately the 9th century CE,[19] and the Aleppo Codex (once the oldest complete copy of the Masoretic Text, but now missing its Torah section) dates from the 10th century.
    Tanakh (Hebrew: תנ"ך) reflects the threefold division of the Hebrew Scriptures, Torah ("Teaching"), Nevi'im ("Prophets") and Ketuvim ("Writings").
    Torah
    Main article: Torah
    See also: Oral Torah
    The Torah (תּוֹרָה) is also known as the "Five Books of Moses" or the Pentateuch, meaning "five scroll-cases".[20] The Hebrew names of the books are derived from the first words in the respective texts.
    The Torah comprises the following five books:
    Genesis, Bereshith (בראשית)
    Exodus, Shemot (שמות)
    Leviticus, Vayikra (ויקרא)
    Numbers, Bamidbar (במדבר)
    Deuteronomy, Devarim (דברים)
    The first eleven chapters of Genesis provide accounts of the creation (or ordering) of the world and the history of God's early relationship with humanity. The remaining thirty-nine chapters of Genesis provide an account of God's covenant with the Biblical patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (also called Israel) and Jacob's children, the "Children of Israel", especially Joseph. It tells of how God commanded Abraham to leave his family and home in the city of Ur, eventually to settle in the land of Canaan, and how the Children of Israel later moved to Egypt. The remaining four books of the Torah tell the story of Moses, who lived hundreds of years after the patriarchs. He leads the Children of Israel from slavery in Ancient Egypt to the renewal of their covenant with God at Mount Sinai and their wanderings in the desert until a new generation was ready to enter the land of Canaan. The Torah ends with the death of Moses.[21]
    The Torah contains the commandments of God, revealed at Mount Sinai (although there is some debate among traditional scholars as to whether these were all written down at one time, or over a period of time during the 40 years of the wanderings in the desert, while several modern Jewish movements reject the idea of a literal revelation, and critical scholars believe that many of these laws developed later in Jewish history).[22][23][24][25] These commandments provide the basis for Jewish religious law. Tradition states that there are 613 commandments (taryag mitzvot).
    Nevi'im
    Main article: Nevi'im
    Books of Nevi'im
    (Hebrew Bible)
    First Prophets[show]
    Later Prophets[show]
    v t e
    Nevi'im (Hebrew: נְבִיאִים Nəḇî'îm‎, "Prophets") is the second main division of the Tanakh, between the Torah and Ketuvim. It contains two sub-groups, the Former Prophets (Nevi'im Rishonim נביאים ראשונים, the narrative books of Joshua, Judges, Samuel and Kings) and the Latter Prophets (Nevi'im Aharonim נביאים אחרונים, the books of Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel and the Twelve Minor Prophets).
    The Nevi'im tell the story of the rise of the Hebrew monarchy and its division into two kingdoms, ancient Israel and Judah, focusing on conflicts between the Israelites and other nations, and conflicts among Israelites, specifically, struggles between believers in "the LORD God"[26] and believers in foreign gods,[27][28] and the criticism of unethical and unjust behavior of Israelite elites and rulers;[29][30][31] in which prophets played a crucial and leading role. It ends with the conquest of the Kingdom of Israel by the Assyrians followed by the conquest of the Kingdom of Judah by the Babylonians and the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.
    Former Prophets
    The Former Prophets are the books Joshua, Judges, Samuel and Kings. They contain narratives that begin immediately after the death of Moses with the divine appointment of Joshua as his successor, who then leads the people of Israel into the Promised Land, and end with the release from imprisonment of the last king of Judah. Treating Samuel and Kings as single books, they cover:
    Joshua's conquest of the land of Canaan (in the Book of Joshua),
    the struggle of the people to possess the land (in the Book of Judges),
    the people's request to God to give them a king so that they can occupy the land in the face of their enemies (in the books of 1st and 2nd Samuel)
    the possession of the land under the divinely appointed kings of the House of David, ending in conquest and foreign exile (1st and 2nd Kings)
    Joshua
    The Book of Joshua (Yehoshua יהושע) contains a history of the Israelites from the death of Moses to that of Joshua. After Moses' death, Joshua, by virtue of his previous appointment as Moses' successor, receives from God the command to cross the Jordan River.
    The book consists of three parts:
    the history of the conquest of the land (1–12).
    allotment of the land to the different tribes, with the appointment of cities of refuge, the provision for the Levites (13–22), and the dismissal of the eastern tribes to their homes.
    the farewell addresses of Joshua, with an account of his death (23, 24).
    Judges
    The Book of Judges (Shoftim שופטים) consists of three distinct parts:
    the introduction (1:1–3:10 and 3:12) giving a summary of the book of Joshua
    the main text (3:11–16:31), discussing the five Great Judges, Abimelech, and providing glosses for a few minor Judges
    appendices (17:1–21:25), giving two stories set in the time of the Judges, but not discussing the Judges themselves.
    Samuel
    The Books of Samuel (Shmu'el שמואל) consists of five parts:
    the period of God's rejection of Eli, Samuel's birth, and subsequent judgment (1 Samuel 1:1–7:17)
    the life of Saul prior to meeting David (1 Samuel 8:1–15:35)
    Saul's interaction with David (1 Samuel 16:1–2 Samuel 1:27)
    David's reign and the rebellions he suffers (2 Samuel 2:1–20:22)
    an appendix of material concerning David in no particular order, and out of sequence with the rest of the text (2 Samuel 22:1–24:25)
    A conclusion of sorts appears at 1 Kings 1-2, concerning Solomon enacting a final revenge on those who did what David perceived as wrongdoing, and having a similar narrative style. While the subject matter in the Book(s) of Samuel is also covered by the narrative in Chronicles, it is noticeable that the section (2 Sam. 11:2-12:29) containing an account of the matter of Bathsheba is omitted in the corresponding passage in 1 Chr. 20.
    Kings
    The Books of Kings (Melakhim מלכים) contains accounts of the kings of the ancient Kingdom of Israel and the Kingdom of Judah, and the annals of the Jewish commonwealth from the accession of Solomon until the subjugation of the kingdom by Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonians.
    Latter Prophets
    The Latter Prophets are divided into two groups, the "major" prophets, Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel, and the twelve minor prophets, collected into a single book.
    Isaiah

    Link?
  • TierbsHsotBoobsTierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    edited January 2014

    The Bible (from Koine Greek τὰ βιβλία, tà biblía, "the books") is a canonical collection of texts considered sacred in Judaism as well as in Christianity. There is no single "Bible": many Bibles exist with varying contents.[1] The term Bible is shared between Judaism and Christianity, although the contents of each of their collections of canonical texts is not the same. Different religious groups include different books within their canons, in different orders, and sometimes divide or combine books, or incorporate additional material into canonical books.
    The Hebrew Bible, or Tanakh, contains twenty-four books divided into three parts: the five books of the Torah ("teaching" or "law"), the Nevi'im ("prophets"), and the Ketuvim ("writings").
    Christian Bibles range from the sixty-six books of the Protestant canon to the eighty-one books of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church canon. The first part of Christian Bibles is the Old Testament, which contains, at minimum, the twenty-four books of the Hebrew Bible divided into thirty-nine books and ordered differently than the Hebrew Bible. The Catholic Church and Eastern Christian churches also hold certain deuterocanonical books and passages to be part of the Old Testament canon. The second part is the New Testament, containing twenty-seven books: the four Canonical gospels, Acts of the Apostles, twenty-one Epistles or letters, and the Book of Revelation.
    By the 2nd century BCE Jewish groups had called the Bible books "holy," and Christians now commonly call the Old and New Testaments of the Christian Bible "The Holy Bible" (τὰ βιβλία τὰ ἅγια, tà biblía tà ágia) or "the Holy Scriptures" (η Αγία Γραφή, e Agía Graphḗ). Many Christians consider the whole canonical text of the Bible to be divinely inspired. The oldest surviving complete Christian Bibles are Greek manuscripts from the 4th century. The oldest Tanakh manuscript in Hebrew and Aramaic dates to the 10th century CE,[2] but an early 4th-century Septuagint translation is found in the Codex Vaticanus. The Bible was divided into chapters in the 13th century by Stephen Langton and into verses in the 16th century by French printer Robert Estienne[3] and is now usually cited by book, chapter, and verse.
    The Bible is widely considered to be the best selling book of all time,[4] has estimated annual sales of 100 million copies,[5][6] and has been a major influence on literature and history, especially in the West where it was the first mass-printed book.
    Contents [hide]
    1 Etymology
    2 Development
    3 Hebrew Bible
    3.1 Torah
    3.2 Nevi'im
    3.2.1 Former Prophets
    3.2.1.1 Joshua
    3.2.1.2 Judges
    3.2.1.3 Samuel
    3.2.1.4 Kings
    3.2.2 Latter Prophets
    3.2.2.1 Isaiah
    3.2.2.2 Jeremiah
    3.2.2.3 Ezekiel
    3.2.2.4 Twelve Minor Prophets
    3.3 Ketuvim
    3.3.1 The poetic books
    3.3.2 The five scrolls (Hamesh Megillot)
    3.3.3 Other books
    3.3.4 Order of the books
    3.3.5 Canonization
    3.4 Original languages
    4 Septuagint
    4.1 Incorporations from Theodotion
    4.2 Final form
    5 Christian Bibles
    5.1 Old Testament
    5.1.1 Apocryphal or deuterocanonical books
    5.1.2 Pseudepigraphal texts
    5.1.2.1 Book of Enoch
    5.1.2.2 Denominational views of Pseudepigrapha
    5.1.3 Role of Old Testament in Christian theology
    5.2 New Testament
    5.2.1 Original language
    5.2.2 Historic editions
    5.3 Development of the Christian canons
    5.3.1 Ethiopian Orthodox canon
    6 Divine inspiration
    7 Versions and translations
    8 Views
    8.1 Other religions
    8.2 Biblical studies
    8.3 Higher criticism
    9 Archaeological and historical research
    10 Criticism
    11 See also
    12 Endnotes
    13 References and further reading
    Etymology



    An American family Bible dating to 1859.
    The English word Bible is from the Latin biblia, from the same word in Medieval Latin and Late Latin and ultimately from Koine Greek τὰ βιβλία ta biblia "the books" (singular βιβλίον biblion).[7]
    Medieval Latin biblia is short for biblia sacra "holy book", while biblia in Greek and Late Latin is neuter plural (gen. bibliorum). It gradually came to be regarded as a feminine singular noun (biblia, gen. bibliae) in medieval Latin, and so the word was loaned as a singular into the vernaculars of Western Europe.[8] Latin biblia sacra "holy books" translates Greek τὰ βιβλία τὰ ἅγια ta biblia ta hagia, "the holy books".[9]
    The word βιβλίον itself had the literal meaning of "paper" or "scroll" and came to be used as the ordinary word for "book". It is the diminutive of βύβλος bublos, "Egyptian papyrus", possibly so called from the name of the Phoenician sea port Byblos (also known as Gebal) from whence Egyptian papyrus was exported to Greece. The Greek ta biblia (lit. "little papyrus books")[10] was "an expression Hellenistic Jews used to describe their sacred books (the Septuagint).[11][12] Christian use of the term can be traced to ca. 223 CE.[7] The biblical scholar F.F. Bruce notes that Chrysostom appears to be the first writer (in his Homilies on Matthew, delivered between 386 and 388) to use the Greek phrase ta biblia ("the books") to describe both the Old and New Testaments together.[13]
    Development

    John Riches states that "the biblical texts themselves are the result of a creative dialogue between ancient traditions and different communities through the ages",[14] and "the biblical texts were produced over a period in which the living conditions of the writers – political, cultural, economic, and ecological – varied enormously".[15]
    Timothy H. Lim, a professor of Hebrew Bible and Second Temple Judaism at the University of Edinburgh, states that the Old Testament "was not written by one man, nor did it drop down from heaven as assumed by fundamentalists. It is not a magical book, but a collection of authoritative texts of apparently divine origin that went through a human process of writing and editing.”[16] During the solidification of the Hebrew canon (circa 3d century BCE), the Bible began to be translated into Greek, now referred to as the Septuagint.[17]
    In Christian Bibles, the New Testament Gospels were derived from oral traditions (similar to the Hebrew Bible) in a period after Jesus's death,
    Scholars have attempted to reconstruct something of the history of the oral traditions behind the Gospels, but the results have not been too encouraging. The period of transmission is short: less than 40 years passed between the death of Jesus and the writing of Mark's Gospel. This means that there was little time for oral traditions to assume fixed form.[18]
    The Bible was later translated into Latin and other languages. John Riches states that,
    The translation of the Bible into Latin marks the beginning of a parting of the ways between Western Latin-speaking Christianity and Eastern Christianity, which spoke Greek, Syriac, Coptic, Ethiopic, and other languages. The Bibles of the Eastern Churches vary considerably: the Ethiopic Orthodox canon includes 81 books and contains many apocalyptic texts, such as were found at Qumran and subsequently excluded from the Jewish canon. As a general rule, one can say that the Orthodox Churches generally follow the Septuagint in including more books in their Old Testaments than are in the Jewish canon.[18]
    Hebrew Bible

    Main article: Development of the Hebrew Bible canon


    The Nash Papyrus (2nd century BCE) contains a portion of a pre-Masoretic Text, specifically the Ten Commandments and the Shema Yisrael prayer.
    The Masoretic Text is the authoritative Hebrew text of the Hebrew Bible. While the Masoretic Text defines the books of the Jewish canon, it also defines the precise letter-text of these biblical books, with their vocalization and accentuation.
    The oldest extant manuscripts of the Masoretic Text date from approximately the 9th century CE,[19] and the Aleppo Codex (once the oldest complete copy of the Masoretic Text, but now missing its Torah section) dates from the 10th century.
    Tanakh (Hebrew: תנ"ך) reflects the threefold division of the Hebrew Scriptures, Torah ("Teaching"), Nevi'im ("Prophets") and Ketuvim ("Writings").
    Torah
    Main article: Torah
    See also: Oral Torah
    The Torah (תּוֹרָה) is also known as the "Five Books of Moses" or the Pentateuch, meaning "five scroll-cases".[20] The Hebrew names of the books are derived from the first words in the respective texts.
    The Torah comprises the following five books:
    Genesis, Bereshith (בראשית)
    Exodus, Shemot (שמות)
    Leviticus, Vayikra (ויקרא)
    Numbers, Bamidbar (במדבר)
    Deuteronomy, Devarim (דברים)
    The first eleven chapters of Genesis provide accounts of the creation (or ordering) of the world and the history of God's early relationship with humanity. The remaining thirty-nine chapters of Genesis provide an account of God's covenant with the Biblical patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (also called Israel) and Jacob's children, the "Children of Israel", especially Joseph. It tells of how God commanded Abraham to leave his family and home in the city of Ur, eventually to settle in the land of Canaan, and how the Children of Israel later moved to Egypt. The remaining four books of the Torah tell the story of Moses, who lived hundreds of years after the patriarchs. He leads the Children of Israel from slavery in Ancient Egypt to the renewal of their covenant with God at Mount Sinai and their wanderings in the desert until a new generation was ready to enter the land of Canaan. The Torah ends with the death of Moses.[21]
    The Torah contains the commandments of God, revealed at Mount Sinai (although there is some debate among traditional scholars as to whether these were all written down at one time, or over a period of time during the 40 years of the wanderings in the desert, while several modern Jewish movements reject the idea of a literal revelation, and critical scholars believe that many of these laws developed later in Jewish history).[22][23][24][25] These commandments provide the basis for Jewish religious law. Tradition states that there are 613 commandments (taryag mitzvot).
    Nevi'im
    Main article: Nevi'im
    Books of Nevi'im
    (Hebrew Bible)
    First Prophets[show]
    Later Prophets[show]
    v t e
    Nevi'im (Hebrew: נְבִיאִים Nəḇî'îm‎, "Prophets") is the second main division of the Tanakh, between the Torah and Ketuvim. It contains two sub-groups, the Former Prophets (Nevi'im Rishonim נביאים ראשונים, the narrative books of Joshua, Judges, Samuel and Kings) and the Latter Prophets (Nevi'im Aharonim נביאים אחרונים, the books of Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel and the Twelve Minor Prophets).
    The Nevi'im tell the story of the rise of the Hebrew monarchy and its division into two kingdoms, ancient Israel and Judah, focusing on conflicts between the Israelites and other nations, and conflicts among Israelites, specifically, struggles between believers in "the LORD God"[26] and believers in foreign gods,[27][28] and the criticism of unethical and unjust behavior of Israelite elites and rulers;[29][30][31] in which prophets played a crucial and leading role. It ends with the conquest of the Kingdom of Israel by the Assyrians followed by the conquest of the Kingdom of Judah by the Babylonians and the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.
    Former Prophets
    The Former Prophets are the books Joshua, Judges, Samuel and Kings. They contain narratives that begin immediately after the death of Moses with the divine appointment of Joshua as his successor, who then leads the people of Israel into the Promised Land, and end with the release from imprisonment of the last king of Judah. Treating Samuel and Kings as single books, they cover:
    Joshua's conquest of the land of Canaan (in the Book of Joshua),
    the struggle of the people to possess the land (in the Book of Judges),
    the people's request to God to give them a king so that they can occupy the land in the face of their enemies (in the books of 1st and 2nd Samuel)
    the possession of the land under the divinely appointed kings of the House of David, ending in conquest and foreign exile (1st and 2nd Kings)
    Joshua
    The Book of Joshua (Yehoshua יהושע) contains a history of the Israelites from the death of Moses to that of Joshua. After Moses' death, Joshua, by virtue of his previous appointment as Moses' successor, receives from God the command to cross the Jordan River.
    The book consists of three parts:
    the history of the conquest of the land (1–12).
    allotment of the land to the different tribes, with the appointment of cities of refuge, the provision for the Levites (13–22), and the dismissal of the eastern tribes to their homes.
    the farewell addresses of Joshua, with an account of his death (23, 24).
    Judges
    The Book of Judges (Shoftim שופטים) consists of three distinct parts:
    the introduction (1:1–3:10 and 3:12) giving a summary of the book of Joshua
    the main text (3:11–16:31), discussing the five Great Judges, Abimelech, and providing glosses for a few minor Judges
    appendices (17:1–21:25), giving two stories set in the time of the Judges, but not discussing the Judges themselves.
    Samuel
    The Books of Samuel (Shmu'el שמואל) consists of five parts:
    the period of God's rejection of Eli, Samuel's birth, and subsequent judgment (1 Samuel 1:1–7:17)
    the life of Saul prior to meeting David (1 Samuel 8:1–15:35)
    Saul's interaction with David (1 Samuel 16:1–2 Samuel 1:27)
    David's reign and the rebellions he suffers (2 Samuel 2:1–20:22)
    an appendix of material concerning David in no particular order, and out of sequence with the rest of the text (2 Samuel 22:1–24:25)
    A conclusion of sorts appears at 1 Kings 1-2, concerning Solomon enacting a final revenge on those who did what David perceived as wrongdoing, and having a similar narrative style. While the subject matter in the Book(s) of Samuel is also covered by the narrative in Chronicles, it is noticeable that the section (2 Sam. 11:2-12:29) containing an account of the matter of Bathsheba is omitted in the corresponding passage in 1 Chr. 20.
    Kings
    The Books of Kings (Melakhim מלכים) contains accounts of the kings of the ancient Kingdom of Israel and the Kingdom of Judah, and the annals of the Jewish commonwealth from the accession of Solomon until the subjugation of the kingdom by Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonians.
    Latter Prophets
    The Latter Prophets are divided into two groups, the "major" prophets, Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel, and the twelve minor prophets, collected into a single book.
    Isaiah

    Link?
    www.thebible.com
  • Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    I'd hit it with a bolt of lightening

    image
    Looks like she ate everything on the damn ark
    I know you're being sarcastic, but that was Noah, not Jesus.
    Uhhhh...I know?
    image
    ....

    Biblical context, dude.
    You're very brave to be Biblical Context Superiority guy when @Jesus_Christ himself posts here.

    CHRIST
    Fuckin-A Bubba
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