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Pete's Demon: Or, the OKG Unmaskt; Being a Discourse in Answer to BUCK Recruiting
SarkFanSixtyNine
Member Posts: 362
Let's start with some obvious facts. BUCKs average 85IQ and are raised in a zero parent home. He will have a name like Takkarist.1 He is attracted to attention, money, and sluts in no particular order. He ain't come to play SCHOOL.2 His only positive experience with an old white man was when the 5'6 120lb tiny-dicked kicker's dad begged him to fuck his wife. He possesses an incredibly high quantity of melanin. The white coach he eventually plays for considers him utterly ridiculous.3 He is averse or indifferent to anything having to do with structure, education, responsibilities, standards, hard work, white people.
He does things like this.
With that established, let's consider what you might want to do if you were intentionally hoping to avoid all of them:
1. Look for high character, ego-free men. Use the same tactics in a trendy, exciting, urban location that you used in IDAHO.
2. Do not go viral. Do not sell. emphasize day-to-day operations.
3. Start off by telling them about.....your OKG philosophy.....this one is causing me pain to think about........
4. Have your players talk about how much harder you have to work than everyone else and make them play.....ice-breaker games......
This post is turning out to be much harder to write than I expected I'm experiencing severe nausea imagining a "fast-strategy" boy encountering this.
5. Have your shitty playing pitiful ugly loser white boys acting like unwelcoming dicks to the people they desperately need.
6. Avoid media at all costs. Don't hype up the program. Get into pissing matches with them until they start openly ridiculing you and your program during your games.
7. Believe that the indignity of actually recruiting kids is beneath you.
8. Never allow your head coach to be seen having a personality or doing anything fun, exciting, or interesting.
Never allow your team to be seen doing anything fun, exciting, or interesting.
No specific example to show here other than everything from Pete's entire tenure outside of the actual football games.
In summary, the program has the vibe of some disgusting sanitized soulless corporation filled with boring faggots. I'd almost expect to be subjected to HR diversity and sexual harassment training before my recruiting visit could begin. I suppose this is appropriate given the unfortunate reality of Seattle. Pete is an upstanding gentleman and it would be unfair if not unethical to give a kid the idea that this place doesn't suck ass.
The point I'm making should be obvious by now. Coach Peterman is deliberately sabotaging any hope of landing a traditional CFB BUCK. He actually is stubborn enough to avoid all fast-track kids. You still have PTSD from having Nate Dogg's kid in the program for like one week. Fine, you fucking pussy. So where do you go from here?
Fear not doogs, there actually is another option.
Mining the entire globe for literal Africans and their second-generation kids.4,5 Every single try-hard OKG from now on needs to be a literal African instead of a white. Go find some freaky athletes a couple inches too short for serious basketball who haven't even played football yet. Go to some goddamn Nigerian basketball camps with a stopwatch and tape measure if you have to. Send your more disposable interns into the war-torn villages of Congo. The "Rape Capital Of The World" sounds to me like a place with some damn fine football players. Whatever it takes. But that might not even be necessary. Samson Ebukam as an example ended up at Eastern Washington somehow and then got drafted in the 4th round. Look at his god damn pro day numbers.6 Make Washington THE African football program. I can already picture the glorious purple blasians outsmarting and overpowering everyone in classic Peterman fashion. And all still OKGs that fulfill Pete's desperate, sad need to win with unheralded recruits! Ariel Ngata is the best signing Pete ever made. Now imagine how much the odds with Joe and Daniyel go up if Pete has 20 of these boys instead of 1 who feels like an alien because he's entirely surrounded by lame white fags.
Recent examples I'm aware of. This is scratching the surface:
2018 Jayson Oweh.
Parents went to Harvard. Testing results that would make @Dennis_DeYoung bend over and spread his buttcheeks.7 Where the fuck was Pete?
2019 David Ojabo:
Born in Nigeria. Looking for a family atmosphere and a good education. Ran 100m in 11.278 at 6'5 233. WHERE THE FUCK IS PETE?
Old example of why this is such a valuable demographic in addition to being an extremely worthwhile endeavor outside of just winning football games:
Tamba Hali:9
Born and raised in Liberia. A tear-jerking story with a magical ending. Would Pete have even tried to recruit him? Would the melanin levels and parent quantity automatically disqualify him? Assuming Pete had Tamba, would he even be willing to give reporters access to write this wonderful story?10
(No, Yes, No)
There are infinite kids like this. The population of Nigeria alone is 186 million. Consider the impact of bringing kids like this into the fold instead of spoiled, slow, weak whites with parents willing to pay for an education.
Get it together Pete. I want a goddamn BUCK and you can NEVER get one from America thanks to your deliberate sabotage. No legitimate BUCK, no national championship. Stop being such a closed off "cantankerous" asshole and do what it takes to build this brand. It's the only way you win a title without compromising your ludicrous sanctimonious principles. Get your ass to Africa right fucking now.
1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GszG-3Y0Wo
2
3https://ftw.usatoday.com/2017/01/bobby-bowden-earrings-mike-and-mike
4https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/how-culture-passion-and-genetics-are-fueling-a-nigerian-takeover-of-u-s-sports/
5http://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/19285401/http-wwwespnfccom-blog-football-africa-80-post-3116887-africans-europe-weekend-review
6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samson_Ebukam
7http://www.espn.com/college-sports/football/recruiting/player/combine/_/id/227068/jayson-oweh
8http://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/index.ssf/2018/02/lightning_strikes_twice_at_blair_which_boasts_its.html
9https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamba_Hali
10https://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/23/sports/ncaafootball/penn-states-hali-awaits-a-reunion.html
He does things like this.
With that established, let's consider what you might want to do if you were intentionally hoping to avoid all of them:
1. Look for high character, ego-free men. Use the same tactics in a trendy, exciting, urban location that you used in IDAHO.
2. Do not go viral. Do not sell. emphasize day-to-day operations.
3. Start off by telling them about.....your OKG philosophy.....this one is causing me pain to think about........
4. Have your players talk about how much harder you have to work than everyone else and make them play.....ice-breaker games......
This post is turning out to be much harder to write than I expected I'm experiencing severe nausea imagining a "fast-strategy" boy encountering this.
5. Have your shitty playing pitiful ugly loser white boys acting like unwelcoming dicks to the people they desperately need.
6. Avoid media at all costs. Don't hype up the program. Get into pissing matches with them until they start openly ridiculing you and your program during your games.
7. Believe that the indignity of actually recruiting kids is beneath you.
8. Never allow your head coach to be seen having a personality or doing anything fun, exciting, or interesting.
Never allow your team to be seen doing anything fun, exciting, or interesting.
No specific example to show here other than everything from Pete's entire tenure outside of the actual football games.
In summary, the program has the vibe of some disgusting sanitized soulless corporation filled with boring faggots. I'd almost expect to be subjected to HR diversity and sexual harassment training before my recruiting visit could begin. I suppose this is appropriate given the unfortunate reality of Seattle. Pete is an upstanding gentleman and it would be unfair if not unethical to give a kid the idea that this place doesn't suck ass.
The point I'm making should be obvious by now. Coach Peterman is deliberately sabotaging any hope of landing a traditional CFB BUCK. He actually is stubborn enough to avoid all fast-track kids. You still have PTSD from having Nate Dogg's kid in the program for like one week. Fine, you fucking pussy. So where do you go from here?
Fear not doogs, there actually is another option.
Mining the entire globe for literal Africans and their second-generation kids.4,5 Every single try-hard OKG from now on needs to be a literal African instead of a white. Go find some freaky athletes a couple inches too short for serious basketball who haven't even played football yet. Go to some goddamn Nigerian basketball camps with a stopwatch and tape measure if you have to. Send your more disposable interns into the war-torn villages of Congo. The "Rape Capital Of The World" sounds to me like a place with some damn fine football players. Whatever it takes. But that might not even be necessary. Samson Ebukam as an example ended up at Eastern Washington somehow and then got drafted in the 4th round. Look at his god damn pro day numbers.6 Make Washington THE African football program. I can already picture the glorious purple blasians outsmarting and overpowering everyone in classic Peterman fashion. And all still OKGs that fulfill Pete's desperate, sad need to win with unheralded recruits! Ariel Ngata is the best signing Pete ever made. Now imagine how much the odds with Joe and Daniyel go up if Pete has 20 of these boys instead of 1 who feels like an alien because he's entirely surrounded by lame white fags.
Recent examples I'm aware of. This is scratching the surface:
2018 Jayson Oweh.
Parents went to Harvard. Testing results that would make @Dennis_DeYoung bend over and spread his buttcheeks.7 Where the fuck was Pete?
2019 David Ojabo:
Born in Nigeria. Looking for a family atmosphere and a good education. Ran 100m in 11.278 at 6'5 233. WHERE THE FUCK IS PETE?
Old example of why this is such a valuable demographic in addition to being an extremely worthwhile endeavor outside of just winning football games:
Tamba Hali:9
Born and raised in Liberia. A tear-jerking story with a magical ending. Would Pete have even tried to recruit him? Would the melanin levels and parent quantity automatically disqualify him? Assuming Pete had Tamba, would he even be willing to give reporters access to write this wonderful story?10
(No, Yes, No)
There are infinite kids like this. The population of Nigeria alone is 186 million. Consider the impact of bringing kids like this into the fold instead of spoiled, slow, weak whites with parents willing to pay for an education.
Get it together Pete. I want a goddamn BUCK and you can NEVER get one from America thanks to your deliberate sabotage. No legitimate BUCK, no national championship. Stop being such a closed off "cantankerous" asshole and do what it takes to build this brand. It's the only way you win a title without compromising your ludicrous sanctimonious principles. Get your ass to Africa right fucking now.
1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GszG-3Y0Wo2
3https://ftw.usatoday.com/2017/01/bobby-bowden-earrings-mike-and-mike
4https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/how-culture-passion-and-genetics-are-fueling-a-nigerian-takeover-of-u-s-sports/
5http://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/19285401/http-wwwespnfccom-blog-football-africa-80-post-3116887-africans-europe-weekend-review
6https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samson_Ebukam
7http://www.espn.com/college-sports/football/recruiting/player/combine/_/id/227068/jayson-oweh
8http://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/index.ssf/2018/02/lightning_strikes_twice_at_blair_which_boasts_its.html
9https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamba_Hali
10https://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/23/sports/ncaafootball/penn-states-hali-awaits-a-reunion.html
Comments
You should have spent that time doing something else. Anything else, really.
And WELCOME!! About time!!
watu wa baadaye
Also, I expected this type of post to come from DDY ... when it wasn’t I was disappointed