Haie's Album Review: Amon Amarth - JomsViking

haie · June 2016

Amon Amarth is what I envision Dethklok would be in real life: long haired guys who are dedicated to metal and have released 20 albums that all sound roughly the same.

"Versus the World" and "Surtur Rising" are were easily their two best albums before this one. Their previous release, "The Betrayer" was so boring and uninspired that I felt like one of the songs off of it would be the new GoT theme song.

My face LITERALLY melted the fuck off when they released this album a few months ago.

First of all, the skill they employ is just masterful. Their guitarists earn every ounce of blow and every hooker ass cheek they obtain.

Secondarily, they took some risks with this album that paid off. I fucking hate when people take risks in life and fail. That makes you a failure, and nothing else. But when it works it is something to behold, as it is here.

This is a "theme" album, so every song is a piece of a the same puzzle: a viking falls in love with some Valkyrie, accidentally kills another viking and it banished, trying to get back to his bitch and failing (and getting slaughtered). He accepts his fate, like all vikings do.

A couple of standout tracks:

One Thousand Burning Arrows: hearkens back to a time when our leaders were superior and respected, instead of fucking propped up faggots:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgYNyWzPsu4&list=RDcgYNyWzPsu4

A Dream That Cannot Be: basically the end of the story when our hero realizes he isn't going to get laid. This one has a kind of girly singer that somehow meshes well with the sound:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINxwsSDf80&index=9&list=RDcgYNyWzPsu4

This album review has been dedicated to all of the Milenial haters on the board. Looks like I misspelled 'Millennial' but I can't be bothered to go back and correct it without some overtime pay, sorry.