By Brentwood Bob
To those who willingly claim to have half of a brain, the coach Sarkisian and I are currently laughing out loud at yet more false reports of disorder. Who among you cannot recognize the passion that the coach Sark holds for the USC? Who among you is blind enough to see this as the grip of the great satan Patron? Half of a brain indeed. Inshallah you will one day be given the other half that you may see that the coach Sarkisian is only filled with the fire of Troy and ripping it.
There is no doubt that those near to my home of Brentwood have spread these lies. Those east of the 405 where false idols like Mora and Wooden are worshipped by fat white girls who hate the asian people. To them I say this, we know that your harlot Lindsey Thiry is most likely responsible. Do not think we have been deaf to the reports coming off of her forked tongue that those across town possess greater physical prowess than the USC. Soon the coach Sarkisian will silence all critics, philistines, and liars. Soon those Red Wolves of the State University of Arkansas will truly bear the name as the LA river runs dark with their blood. What will be said then, when we celebrate and feast on the spoils of the In and Out Truck and Choco Tacos? Fight the fuck on.