Washington and Oregon play a football game tomorrow. You've got Mariota and home field advantage. Sure, it's quite possible you'll win the game. And to top things off, you're wearing throwback jerseys to 1994, when Kenny Wheaton picked off the Damon Huard pass that turned our worlds upside down. Thanks for spitting in our face.
You've won 10 in a row over Washington, all by blowout. It's been painful to see us exit this rivalry and hand Northwest supremacy over to you on a platter.
While you guys went on to great success, we ended up with Todd Turner, Tyrone Willingham and Owen Twelve.
But times have finally changed. We're no longer the pansies that show our opponent's season highlights on our scoreboard. We're no longer led by Steve Sarkisian, who would melt against you guys every year like slices of cheese in a microwave set on high. And every year when you cracked the 40 and 50 point barriers, the cameras would zoom in on Sark's face to reveal a teary-eyed, wounded blubberpuss.
No more. From now on, when our players are in the heat of battle, they'll look over and see a composed and mentally strong Chris Petersen leading the way. It always starts from the top, and we've got our guy now.
So yes, you might pull out the win tomorrow. After all, you've got Mariota and home field advantage. But beware Duckies, for times are changing. That accountant you've hired for a head coach has bought you a one-way ticket back to Bellottiville. Savor every last moment of supremacy. Those days are dwindling.
Listen to the Duck call Oregon fans, it tolls for thee.
(And as your football program begins to implode, be sure to log onto the Duck Half Brains board where you can vent your frustration without being deleted.)