By Race Bannon
TURMOIL AND ANGST IN ALABAMA
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LA
AUBURN RUN OVER BY A TRUCK
BRUINS DODGE A BULLET
TIME TO LET NICK GO
BILLY BOB BOB BILLY
It is now clear that the game has passed Nick Saban by. Now in his third year since his last National Championship it looks like Saban will never win another one. He can’t even beat Ole Miss at home anymore. Ole Miss had won one (1) game in Bama since the recent unpleasantness between the states. Now it’s two. Saban cannot stop the modern offense. It’s one thing to get run by Ohio State or even Auburn, but Mississippi? Two years in a row? Hell Bama would be hard pressed to beat Oregon. No wonder the Webbed Wonders are always trying to pick a fight with Bama.
The pride of the SEC and the South now rests with LSU and Ole Miss. These are the last best options for playoff glory because there is no D in Texas A&M and Mississippi State is Mississippi State. The East division looks like General Sherman just took a long walk through it with his wife to get some perspective and burn it to the ground.
Leonard Fournette trucked Auburn and struck a blow for old time football. Neither LSU nor Ole Miss have a decent quarterback. Maybe the game has passed the whole SEC by? Things could get ugly in a hurry down here.
Oh oh Alabama. The devil fools with the best laid plans.
DOUBLE DIGIT FAVORITE AT HOME? NO PROBLEM BRAH
I have some free time since I fucked up my back again so I decided to report on Stanford’s loss to the heavily favored, 6th ranked, stacked with talent USC Trojans. I fully expected Sark to lead his men to victory but Justin Wilcox and his bad defense over shadowed the effective Trojan offense that Sark is so proud of.
It’s a shame to see Wilcox ruin the career of a great coach like Sark. At least Sark is a stand up guy.
“Look, we gained 7 yards a play on 66 plays,” Sark noted soberly in the post game melee in the tunnel. “What more am I supposed to do? I can draw it up but the players and assistant coaches need to execute. I felt we had a good week of practice and the kids played hard and quite honestly I am surprised that Wilcox screwed this whole deal up for us. But make no mistake, the responsibility is on me.”
Next up is a loss on the final play to ASU.
PM TO LARRY SCOTT
Your third rate network won’t allow me to cover meaningless Pac 12 games. Your national game on ABC got curb stomped in the ratings by Ole Miss v Bama. You are the Steve Sarkisian of conference commissioners. I’m hearing that Women’s Tennis has an opening. Take it. So a bunch of PAC 12 teams played games and shit but who cares?
Cal beat Texas on FOX…couldn’t have had more than 100 viewers…Cal is unbeaten and heading to Husky Stadium…the game will not be televised…A full slate of exciting games in the SEC on tap this week…all will be televised on real networks..people really love the SEC…great conference, great atmosphere, great teams, great games…UCLA didn’t choke against BYU in a surprise…they lose to Arizona this week…cook it…thanks for reading…or not