DUCK DECAY DEMANDS ATTENTION
LA MIGHT AS WELL GO BIG SKY WITH THE WASHINGTON SCHOOLS
TROY WILLIAMS GARNERS HEISMAN ATTENTION
LES WALKS HIS FINAL MILE
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE
TROY "CUBBY" WADSWORTH III
People forget that the legendary NFL Films clip of Vince Lombardi screaming "what the hell is going on out there" was filmed at the legendary Los Angeles Coliseum, the past and now present home of our Rams.
Today Trojan and Bruin fans find themselves screaming the same thing at their television sets as the talented 5 Star Trojans and the soft faggoty Bruins have stumbled out of the gate with two or three losses a piece.
Country Legend Clay Helton has already over stayed his welcome and our sources indicate that the only reason he wasn't fired this weekend is because Ed Ogeron is not available to be the interim coach. USC has now been boat raced by Bama, beat up by Stanford and outcoached by Utah in a third loss.
The Utah loss was somewhat understandable as Heisman leader Troy Williams led the Utes to a thrilling fourth quarter comeback win. But many experts point out that USC gave up on the effective running game in the 4th quarter and brain cramped to another loss.
Lynn Swann is the latest unqualified former player from the glory years to be the Athletic Director. Was it just two years ago that an obviously intoxicated Steve Sarkisian ran into the loving arms of Pat Haden?
The question on the lips of every Trojan fan is "But who could we get that is better?"
Meanwhile in the Westwood area of Pasadena the talented yet soft and loser mentality Bruins blew a lead and a game to Stanford to keep Jim Mora (not Jr.) winless in several tries against the Card. It was a stout battle that you just knew the Bruins would find a way to lose.
Keep in mind that this team found a way to lose to Texas A&M. And they suck. But 10 other Pac 12 teams would love to have their roster. To live and die in LA baby.
And no, I did not break up Brangelina, Brad turned me down.
MIKE HELFRICHED NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT
MALLARD N. MOORE
I came here today not to praise Mike Hlefrich but to bury him. Then I asked myself, but who could we get that is better? Ed Ogeron is no longer available to be the interim coach. Is Rich Brooks still alive? Mike Bellotti is tanned rested and ready. Chip Kelly is dead man walking in San Francisco.
How about old school I formation Les Miles taking the keys to the former high octane Duck offense? That's a horrible fit.
The reason for the angst is a 2-2 Duck team coming off of a loss to fucking Colorado who had 5 league wins since joining the Pac 12 in 2001. Whatever. No one cares or wanted them anyway. So the Biffs waltz into Autzen Arena and beat the formerly mighty Ducks. Oregon ended the game on a stupid sideline pass into the endzone that was merely intercepted, not returned for 6. And it was the other end of the stadium. But still, ominous clouds are on the horizon in the form of back to back games against the Worshington schools. WSU beat Oregon last year. UW will beat them someday. Just you wait. It will happen. Any year now.
Well it was fun while it lasted and a much better Dynasty than the D Word in Pullman lo those many years ago. Two First loser spots and a 12-0 (1) season. Go Ducks!
WE WON SO WHAT WE STILL SUCK
Great defense got boat raced. Great quarterback under 200 yards. Saved by the strange decision to actually stick with the running game and the emergence of Levon Coleman into the Heisman race. Levon wears his war wound like a crown. He calls his child Jesus because he likes the name. Enough ABC up close and personal background stuff. The kid played hard and we're 1-0 headed to 1-2.
This Friday night Stanford comes to town and unless they get tied up in traffic they will beat up our lads and leave them bleeding and unable to beat Oregon the following week for the 23rd time in a row.
I just tell it like it is. Send your hate mail to Derek Johnson.
ODDS AND ENDS AND ENDS AND ODDS
All in all it was a pretty shitty week of football...with the clever use of the DVR and controlled substances I was able to catch Stanford breaking UCLA's heart (kidding UCLA has no heart), Texas A&M get to 4-0 by rolling Arky...and then ASU sprinting to the finish of a (demolition) of Cal...then I passed out...this week finds Louisville and Clemson settling the ACC playoff spot...Bama beats Kentucky. USC and ASU relive the classic game from two years ago at the Coliseum...the best game since the 2001 Rose Bowl according to many experts...Really another bad week of games overall...but after Friday night we will either be on a bender for winning or losing so it won't matter anyway...we suck until we don't...you want to put your heart out there again to have it ripped from your chest and shoved up your ass you are free to do so. And thanks for reading.