Duckfighter Illustrated: Irrational Exuberance Special Edition


DAWGS Improve to 2-0
Race Bannon
The Washington Huskies Vandalized Idaho before hundreds of people at sun splashed Denny Field in Moscow, Russia. Jack Browning had all day to stare down his wide open receivers and managed to look scared and bad anyway. The offensive line remained offensive. The defense continued to punish the hapless competition.

It was a 59-14 win that once again didn't answer anything that we haven't had answered since Sark first pulled us back from 0-12 to our now annual 7-6 where Petersen's 4-5 two years in a row is better than Sark's 5-4 every year.

We know we can bully bad teams. Until we can bully the bullies it means nothing. At all. Thanks to our pathetic athletic administration we have one more week of nothing to see or learn as the Portland State Vikings bring their celebration of white brutality and violence to Con Air Field at Husky Stadium in Eugene.

I'm sure Browning will hitlots of open receivers and the DAWGS will win rather easily, say 54-17.

The game is available in China on the PAC 12 Tennis Network.

Rough Start for Cuogs
Rob Bobertson
The plucky Cougs did not quit nor did they win but they came close enough for the fans to be able to blame the refs and the field conditions at the Kibble Dome in Pullman, Idaho. The Cougs drop to 0-2 for the first time since probably some very recent year.

Boise State continues to win with whoever is the coach there. It is almost like it doesn't matter who the coach at Boise is. They win big while there and then fail miserably when they get a real job at a mid major former football school,

Next up for the Cougs is the battle for the Palouse at Martin P. Vandal Stadium in Vader, WA. I like the Vandals in this one.

Pac 12 Rebounds
The Pac 12 rebounded from a tough opening week with wins over BYU, Idaho, Utah State, and Virginia. Troy Williams continues to be better than Browning as he has the Utes 2-0. Oregon ran over Virginia but the defense remains a major concern. Observers point out that there is no D in Oregon but there should be one in Ducks or else they would be the Ucks (lol).

ASU had some guy score 8 touchdowns and pull down 20 rebounds in a 78-76 thriller over Texas Tech. Arizona scored late to overtake Grambling.
California joined WSU in losing to non Power 5 teams.
Oregon visits Nebraska and Colorado goes to Michigan to relive the hail Mary that stole the thunder from the Whammy in 1994. Since that day UW has one Rose Bowl and Colorado has a Fiesta Bowl loss to Oregon and lots of losing other than those bright moments in a sea of gloomy bad football.

The tough SEC and their tough teams won a tough slate of non conference games to put to rest the stupid notion that the SEC isn't the best conference ever. Nick Saban beat down Lane Kiffin...Arkansas beat TCU in the game of the day, a double OT thriller...this week the SEC West starts to sort itself out as Mississippi tries for three straight over Bama at home in Rebel Trigger Warning Flag Stadium...LSU and Mississippi State go at it as LSU continues to look for a quarterback...A&M plays Auburn as it is almost time for them to start on their 4 league losses every year...all games available on major networks at great times to watch a ball game.

Cal plays the revitalized Texas Longhorns and should continue to lose...Stanford will beat the hell out of the soft flaccid Trojans...UCLA and their imploding coach and over rated quarterback face the 28 year old Fighting Mormons of BYU...I like BYU in this one...Ohio State and Oklahoma play the game of the day...Florida State meets Louisville in a CFB Playoff elimination game...thanks for reading folks now excuse me while I mail this in.