END OF AN ERA SPECIAL EDITION
By Race Bannon
WINDOWS CLOSING IN EUGENE
COACHING SEARCH IN EUGENE
QUARTERBACK SEARCH IN EUGENE
TROJANS 2-0, TANNED, AND UNTESTED
SEC IN DISARRAY
COMMISSIONER SEARCH IN THE PAC 12 AS DIRECTV DEAL FALLS THROUGH
ANOTHER YEAR ANOTHER NO NATTY
MALLARD N. MOORE
Outlined against a dark Michigan sky, the four horsemen of the Oregon Apocalypse rode in last Saturday night and left the Ducks once again out of national championship contention. The plucky yet fashionable Ducks will once again have to be content with a meaningless PAC 12 title like they have won once in the last three years.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Auburn buys Cam Newton and kicks our ass and we go to buy a quarterback and we get a midget with a busted finger who can’t hit the broadside of the barn when we needed it.”
A calm yet agitated Phil Knight continued, “Did Helfrich think Mariota was going to play here forever? I’m not giving the Tennessee Titans a billion dollars, I’m giving it to Oregon and all I have is a couple of First Loser tee shirts.”
The Ducks almost pulled out a win late when a wide open Oregon receiver streaked to the end zone only to have the ball sail harmlessly over his outstretched webbed hands. That was probably the one win Michigan State would get if these teams played 10 times but it is the one that counts for this year.
Is the Helfrich Decline a real thing? We won’t really know this year due to the horrible condition of the worst conference in America. Oregon will win out.
FIFTY YEARS LATER SAME RESULT
BENNY B. LEVER
The Oregon State Beavers and the Michigan Wolverines celebrated the 50th anniversary of their Rose Bowl game with a rematch at Harbaugh Stadium in Ann Arbor. The Big Blue pulled out a 34-7 win 50 years ago. Last Saturday it was 35-7 Michigan. Things are worse now than they were then.
The Beavers got pounded and run over by the bully boys from the Midwest. Typical soft PAC 12 loser team who as a matter of fact, were wearing white helmets.
SEC SEC SEC DOWN THE DRAIN DRAIN DRAIN
BILLY BOB BOB BILLY
Auburn needed overtime to beat Jacksonville State. Arkansas talked shit about Ohio State then lost to Toledo, a school in Ohio. Missouri barely beat Arkansas State, and team so bad even Sark could run it up on them. Florida had to scrape by East Carolina. Tennessee blew a 17 point lead at home to SEC critic, Bob Stoops and his Oklahoma Sooners. Oklahoma may be a faded memory of a national contender but Stoops beats the SEC like a rented mule.
The conference games were lack luster affairs with horrible quarterback play and low scores that were more the result of bad offense than great defense.
Let’s face it; this is a one team conference this year. ROLL DAMN TIDE
Rumors of lots of PAC 12 play last weekend but it wasn’t on my TV like all those SEC games were…but how is Larry Scott an abject failure…AT&T wanted a piece of the mysterious and unseen network in order to be forced to show horrible PAC 12 football…The Huskies played someone at 11 in the morning…has Scott Woodward been fired yet…Ole Miss travels to Bama this week in a big game… Auburn and LSU meet in a big West Division match for 2nd place behind Bama…Texas A&M will face plant against NOGAF about Nevada…and other games too!
Thanks for reading