Duckfighter Illustrated: Back on the Bandwagon Special Edition

RICH COOL AND 4-0

FIRST TIME SINCE 2001

DOOG WEEK!

CARD CRUSH COUGS

HELFREICH DENIES INTEREST IN USC JOB

BY THE WAY, LANE KIFFIN FIRED!

PAT HADEN HAS BLOODY BIG BALLS

Only 12 years later, Huskies match Neuheisel era starting mark

Race Bannon

A short 12 years after the University of Washington decided to destroy the football program to save it, the Huskies are back to the type of ball that convinced the University of Washington that they had to destroy the program to save it.

I know, pretty weird, huh?

A massive celebration was touched off by a convincing win over Serious Arizona on a picture postcard, crisp, Seattle Autumn afternoon at No Statue of James Yet Field at Pool Boy Stadium. The sun was coming down in buckets in what can only be described as a perfect recruiting day for the Pac 12 South Division.

The Huskies are 4-0 and now face back to back games against Top 5 opponents. After we win those we will have to guard against a letdown since the Huskies would at that point be bowl eligible. #HouseMoney

Bishop Sankey carried the ball 40 times as the pass orientated Sarkisian was forced to run the damn ball due to the bright sunshine being in the eyes of the receivers. Josh Wilcox continues to amaze the Husky faithful with a defense that actually looks like a defense. It's been 20 years since we've seen that.

All of this may be a mirage so doog it up this week while you can. The big kids get out of school and are coming to the field to play starting with a trip to Palo Alto where Stanford is not located to face the 5th ranked Card who are fresh off a curb stomping of North Division favorite, WSU. The game was held in Seattle in front of hundreds of fans. It was not as close as the final score indicated. Rob Bobertson is not available to write the game story but you may have seen him finishing his bag of popcorn during the telecast.

"I'm not aware of any interest in me by USC and hypothetically speaking, I don't engage in hypothetical nonsense unless it is to give myself more wins in a season such as our 9-4 record last year. Hypothetically," noted Coach Steve Sarkisian from the Not as Nice as Oregon's Lounge and Pool Hall in the Barbara Hedges Memorial Student Center.

"We have a big game this week and it's my job to focus on that" Sarkisian continued as he got a rub down from Misty and Sissy, staff trainers. "That ******* Race Bannon is trying to get on the bandwagon and I'm not letting him on!"

Washington 23, Stanford 21

Helfreich denies interest in Eagles job

Mallard N. Moore

USC is willing to wait for Chip Kelly to serve his sentence at the Philadelphia Federal Penitentiary if he will just say yes to coaching the now coach less USC Trojans. That opens up the Eagle job for Mike Helfreich, the unbeaten coach of the top ranked Ducks, who travel to face the Huskies in two weeks in the game of the century if both schools played in the SEC.

Oregon easily crushed the Cal Bears who have not won a game as we went to press. The rain came down in biblical proportions and DeAnthony Thomas snapped his ankle on the opening kick but nothing has slowed down the Ducks yet.

Oregon has to guard against looking ahead to the Washington game as they warm up with an intersquad scrimmage against Colorado. We can only assume they will win the day.

Oregon 79, CU 14

Pat Haden's Bloody Big Balls

Troy "Cubby" Wadsworth III

The plane landed in the dark hour before the dawn at 5AM Sunday morning. Lurking in the shadows was Luca Brazi, gun at the ready. Lane Kiffin departed the plane and joined the dearly departed with a head shot ordered by Trojan Godfather, Pat "He Looks Like Such a Nice Guy" Haden. Kiffin's Trojans had just given up 62 points to ASU in a desert debacle that was the final straw for one of the over rated Pete Carroll assistants coaching in the Pac 12.

"COLD BLOODED" noted Gus Johnson.

Jim L. Mora and Steve Sarkisian both called their agents who then called the Athletic Directors at their respective schools to deny interest in the job which garnered a raise and an extension for each.

USC has a bye this week which they will use to compile a list of candidates.

OTHER STUFF

Georgia and LSU showed why the SEC is the best entertainment in college ball as they put on a Pac 12 style throw-fest...Mark Richt flipped off the Dawg Half Brains who have mercilessly ripped him for years..Bama rolled closer to their meeting with Washington in the BCS Championship...Ohio State won the Big 14...ASU plays Notre Dame this week and will try to get Brian Kelly fired...and Brian Kelly too...Oregon State crushed Utah...UCLA travels to Utah Thursday night in a trap game...Mora will stay behind to interview at USC...WSU and Cal get in a slap fight...we'd say cripple fight but that's not nice...quad battle would be grossly inappropriate...See you in Seattle for the big game against Stanford...thanks for reading and I hope you can see now why I have supported the Sark hire from day 1.