BACK IN THE FIGHT SPECIAL REPORT
MAN, OREGON SUCKS
70-21 BEAT DOWN ENDS THE STREAK
WE STAND WITH COACH HELFRICH
WHY YOU SHOULD TOO DUCK FAN!
ON TO OREGON STATE
A relaxed Chris Peterson took a long hit off the joint he had been passed, then proceeded to talk a little shit about his top ranked Washington Huskies who improved to 6-0 with a tense 70-21 victory over the Webfoots (?).
"I was concerned that not having our players available to the fucked up Seattle media before the game could hurt us but I guess it didn't. So fuck off"
In the year of our Duck Overlord 1994, the plucky Ducks were doing what they had done for so many previous years. They had played hard and had the lead most of the game and were in the process of allowing UW to mount a last minute drive to grab yet another win and leave Oregon fans to find out once again that losers will find a way to lose.
Kenny Wheaton scored instead setting off a chain of events that would lead to a changing of the guard in the northwest.
Rich Brooks lost the Rose Bowl in his 17th year which made the Rams hire him away which got Mike Bellotti the head coach job and oh, Phil Knight invented football.
Bellotti was mediocre but a step up and he was much more successful against our Huskies than Brooks had been. Bellotti won a New Year's Day bowl. What do we call a major bowl now that the very concept has been tarnished beyond all recognition? Knight pumped billions into the program.
Bellotti hired some guy from New Hampshire to run his offense and quickly found himself "retired" as Chip Kelly came in and made the Webs a national power and first loser to the highly paid Cam Newton. Kelly left to become a racist in Philly and Mike Hlefrigh took over as the head man and got a first loser of his own.
Lambo lasted 4 more seasons after the disaster in 1994 and was replaced by Rick Neuheisel who went 2-1 against Oregon, won a Rose Bowl and popped off, and then was fired leading to the 12 straight losses to Oregon, an Owen 12, shitty coach after shitty coach and finally the hiring of Chris Peterson who was taking another relaxed hit off the joint and commented,
"I'm sorry about that tenth touchdown today. Really. My bad."
So we see today that we have a great coach, (maybe) and Oregon has a shitty one. (for sure) The streak stands at 1 as the Huskies piled up the most points since they were playing Whitman or Cal. It was a remarkably routine beat down. No miracle plays, not over hyped players, just utter domination from start to finish.
As the oft maligned Jake Browning "pointed" out, it was an easy win for the Huskies. Somehow all our players look better than the Oregon players and it happened from one year to the next. Strange.
So as always, fuck Oregon and we're back and the fight will go on for duck fighters everywhere.
HE NEEDS MORE TIM
MALLARD. N MOORE
Coach Helfrich is a good guy with a great family from Coos Bay Oregon and his staff all have families and they need the jobs to feed those families. I bet all you spoiled millennial Duck fans who never knew Rich Brooks didn't think about that.
Did we fire the coach when we lot 66-0 to Washington in 1974. Actually I think we might have. We hired Rich Brooks in 1977 and he lost 54-0 to Washington his first year. I am almost positive we didn't fire him because a mere 17 years later we lost the Rose Bowl.
Chip Kelley isn't walking through that door anytime soon, or at least until that warrant for the public park "incident" is squashed. Who can we get that is better than Helfrich? USC, LSU, Texas are all looking for coaches. Helf got us to first loser just a couple years ago. Marcus Marriotta supports him. We won the Heisman under Helfrich.
So it looks like a tough year. So be it. I'm still driving the bandwagon and I'm not letting any of you back on!!!
If we can get Phil Knight revived and use his cryogenically preserved brain to come up with some answers we'll be fine. Mighty Oregon.
But seriously, 70-21? Fuck everyone and fire them as well.
AROUND THE NATION
Look, I watched some other games....pretty sure I did... but I can't really remember much about the weekend...we have a Bye this week...Tiger is teeing it up at Silverado...the resort is sold out...the year's first major is the Safeway Open...Tiger was at the big WSU game on the Farm. As we went to press details of the game are not available...Oregon State beat Cal...a certain poster remained victory coitusless...Bama remains on a collision course with our DAWGS after a win over Arkansas...Tennessee ran out of miracles at A&M...UCLA still sucks....Thanks for reading. Go DAWGS and WIN THE DAY