F*** Oregon. F*** them a million times with a conical cheese grater. If the state of Oregon fell into the Pacific Ocean, I would dance in the streets. I don’t hate the coaches, players, or even the fans, for that matter. I hate the idea of Oregon. The program that kicks our ass in every way, shape, or form, and relentlessly so. They are what Washington could and should be with the right leaders.
If Washington wins on Saturday, I am going to get $1000 worth of hookers and blow to celebrate. The next day I’m going to eat some shrooms and wander around the woods of Vermont like I’m Hunter S. Thompson. I was actually planning on doing the latter anyway. Nonetheless, If Washington wins THE SEASON IS NOT OVER. You read that correctly. Beat Oregon, nothing else matters bitches.
Oregon will start slow. I am confident in this. The problem is Washington will start slow too. Look at the box scores, save Idaho TT Tech, almost all of our points came in the third and fourth quarters. They need to jump on Oregon early to win. No slow start, no special teams’ gaffe, no early turnovers. Get your team fucking ready to play Sark.
I truly believe in my heart of hearts (note: not my brain) that Washington will make this a game, and ultimately win. Yes, the streak is coming to an end. Rejoice all you long suffering trolls living in your mom’s basements with boners in your sweatpants. Our time has come to walk in the Promised Land; joining the doogs hand in hand, singing kumbaya around a burning effigy of that asshole Race Bannon. Praise be to Allah; Glory be to Allah; there is no god but Allah; and Allah is most great.
It has been nine long years of plungerings at the hands or Oregon that has defined the Uncivil War. This is the first game in a long time where it is conceivable to me that Washington could end this embarrassing streak. Even aspiring to keep the score differential to single digits would have been a stretch goal in the recent past. Now... a victory? Things have definitely turned around. If UW keeps the good aspects of the Stanford game and removes the penalties, special teams errors, and if Sark doesn't order any bone headed plays then this game should be competitive. Regardless of those things, this Washington team at least belongs on the same field as Oregon. As Oregon looks as dominant as ever Washington has crept back to a level of being able to compete.
I am not optimistic though that being competitive means winning. Even with DAT out there are still a lot of weapons on Oregon. Oregon is a good running team and a key to the success of recent victories over them have been stout DL play - something UW has been lacking. On the other hand another common denominator for victories over Oregon has been Justin Wilcox. If he can scheme appropriately and our LBs play their assignments (something they have done well this year) then we could actually make the Oregon offense look mortal. Our back seven is good and can play with the best I believe, which means they can play with Oregon, in my opinion. Oregon's defense is pretty good too - about the same caliber as our offense really. If our offense can play well they can win. If they don't play well we won't score. If the OL doesn't kill plays with penalties and our receivers and All Americans can catch the ball we can put up some points.
In the end it requires everything to come together for UW to beat Oregon which I just haven't seen out of this team under Sarkisian. I think UW is likely to keep within 21 of Oregon but the 13.5 point spread is trickier. Part of me wants to doog it up and predict a victory - I feel like it could happen in my gut but my brain screams that is irrational.
Oregon - 35
Washington - 21
In between all the sign waving, Turk babbling and dick waggling, there has actually been some good X's and O's discussion on Hardcore Husky this week. Vegas is betting that Oregon wins, but by less than two touchdowns. So that would appear to be the safe bet (lol!)
Price is good enough at QB to be a push with Mariota (apostasy, I know) - his only flaw IMO is his tendency to throw the ball away if his second read isn't open, and I'm guessing that he has been coached to do that. Likewise, Sankey is a better pure runner than Byron Marshall. If I were betting, I would bet on DAT being back and not being particularly hampered by the ankle sprain (Phil Knight can afford plenty of the magic soccer spray).
We've been susceptible to short passing game - Colorado actually got a lot of yards against us, but, mostly between the 30s and thus did not translate into many points for them.
I think our recieving corps is a touch better than UW's. Johnny Mundt has been MUCH better than either Lyerla (RIP) or ASJ (MIA) this season. Also, our WRs and TEs are good blockers. "No block, no rock" as the Oregon coaches like to say.
Bralon Addison has a chance to make some real noise on special teams. It will be interesting to see if Sark has fixed the ST breakdowns we all saw against Stanford. If we score or affect the field position game on ST, that won't be good for Sark.
Statistically UW is playing great defense this season. I think the DL is still cause for concern, Mariota is fast and elusive enough to avoid most of the pass rushes he has seen. Oregon's defense is its typical "good enough," I expect that UW will be able to move the ball, but Oregon will capitalize on miscues and those throwaways. Also, we have been an extremely ball-hawking defense for the last three years, that will not change Saturday.
Lastly, and most importantly, HHBs can affect this game by fucking with Gameday. My own suggestion is if someone can make a Doog flag (purple field, gold "DOOGS" or silhouette of Crazy Larry in gold)... some of the 4-panel cards we've seen floating around, or this picture:
With the text "CAN U QUACK LIKE A DUCK?"
I will be DVRing this dreckfest (Gameday), and I have low expectations for you people. Don't let me down, er, up.
I also want one of these t-shirts: http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0177/6536/products/oregonsucks.jpg?7
Bigger predictions because I give a shit:
Marshall: 18 rushes, 104 yards
Sankey, 30 rushes, 165 yards
DAT: 6 rushes, 80 yards, 190 AP, 2 rushing TDs
Mariota: 26/40 260, 2 TD, 1 rushing TD, 0 INT
Price: 35/45, 320, 3 TD, 1 INT
Mundt: 4 catches for 110 yards, 1 TD
Addison: 1 ST TD, 1 receiving TD
If you are at Lowe's looking for 5/8" rope, you are wasting your time. It is out of stock. PLSS needed it for a special project on Saturday. Since there will be no rope, at least say hi to Husky fan Mick Dabone who will be selling AND cleaning toilets.
If you are awake at the ungodly hour that Gameday is on, please tell me about the signs displayed. Some Duck trolls trying to make real Husky Fans look bad have some pretty funny, but classless ideas. I would also like to know about the battle over the flag and whether the flag pole ends up in Softy's ass.
As for the game, expect something similar to last week. You will be wowed by some of the talent the Huskies have, and surprised that they can hang with the Ducks. At the same time, expect head scratching blunders. Whether it will be penalties, poor special teams, dropped passes, or idiotic playcalling, who knows, but the blunders will be there. In a game against a team as good as Oregon, these blunders (THE LITTLE THINGS) will cost you the game. Oregon in a close one.
Oregon 38 Washington 31
Well the script has played out exactly according to plan. Beat the 4 dwarves, lose to the first TUFF opponent, get plungered by the Ducks, tailspin to a nice soft 8-5. Everything has gone according to plan.
Sarktarted penalties and special teams aside, this team actually looks good. Like, REALLY good. Like, UW is currently ranked #7 (!) in the nation in Sagarin's predictor.
This team can actually play.
As such, I'm going with my doogy heart and not my head, and I'm predicting the massive upset - for the first time in nine years, the University of Washington will square off with the Oregon Ducks and...avoid the plunger!
What, you thought I was going to predict a victory?
I might be a doog, but I'm no fool.
UO is just a terrible matchup for Washington. They are basically built exactly like us, except they are more talented, more disciplined and better coached. Even with home field advantage - which will be more of an advantage inside Husky Stadium than it will at the Gameday Coogfest - the Ducks will just be too much for the Dawgs.
I think we play even with them for 50 minutes or so, perhaps even have a lead at that point. But a killer penalty or special teams breakdown (abundance?) will strike and the Ducks will take advantage and put the game away before the ink dries on the new CONTRACT Pool Boy prints off at halftime.
UW covers the spread, the Ducks remain in the national title chase and Sark gets a fat raise. Everyone wins!
Except, of course, those lowly halfbrains who love the football program more than the coach. It's going to be a sad day for those loosers.
The season is over.
Oregon 38, Washington 31