Reinjured an old toe injury on a motorcycle ride last week, and the doc gave me percocet. Threw back two of them and headed to the bar with CLS to watch the game. Lost consciousness at halftime due to mixing the percocet with Irish Car Bombs. CLS told me she and two of her girlfriends had to physically place me in the car at halftime. I have also been told I groped one of her friends. It's probably okay though because the friend is only a B cup, and is kind of her "ugly" friend, so CLS and her big D's probably feel safe. She was looking at me really sternly this morning when telling me I had groped her, but is now gone to get us coffee so I assume everything will be kosher. I was blacked out, but I assume it looked something like this:
I did tell CLS on her way out the door that I'm not playing hard to get, I'm playing hard to want. One of my best one liners. She'll appreciate that one later I'm sure.
So anyway, the gayme. Pretty much sucked as I expected. After watching the replay on DVR in an hour this morning, here's what I think I think.
Brownsocks is once again the worst best QB of the last decade. Looked in control. COBRA IS BACK BITCHES, until the noodle comes out next week in Colorado, and the squirts hit the socks.
Gaskin is a fucking boss. Coleman looked pedestrian, but I think it's that the OL is having trouble opening holes. lulz.
Speaking of the OL, they seemed to be letting in a lot of pressure, kind of fucking up blitz package (lulz) pickups, and just generally meh. You couple that with the lack of running room for anyone not named Gaskin, who creates his own space, and I am really unsure what to make of this group. Should be good, but something seems off when you actually watch them play. Like individually we have some good players, but the scheme isn't jelling or some shit. Who knows. Too complex for my drug and alcohol addled brain to process.
Dante MOTHERFUCKING Pettis. I like him better than John Ross and I don't give a fuck who flags me. Not as fast, but plenty fast enough, great route runner, sticky fingers, and just nasty in the open field. Shifty, with that loping long gazelle stride that confuses mother fuckers. I fucking love this kid - no homo. Throw in the PR's, and this kid is electric.
Special shout out to Fuller, who has quickly become a super sure handed third down threat and Lenius (holy fuck!) who finally showed something after me waiting two years for it. Sorry I said I wanted you to get hit by a bus. Not really. Can you give me your Mom's digits though? I'm a pro groper now.
Ahmed looks like he is running very tentatively to me. You can just see the skills oozing off this kid (felt gross writing that), but he is still thinking too much and not just running. I think he gets it all figured out by mid season and is a real threat. Good hands already. Kid should be special. McGrew showing flashes too. Really an embarrassment of riches the last several years - Polk, Sankey, Gaskin, Coleman, and now McGrew and Ahmed.
WTE played great as well.
JV QB's inspire zero confidence in me. As much as I hate Brownsocks, we have little chance without him.
Hope CLS gets back soon because I have a really weird post blackout raging boner right now. Can't figure out if it's the drug and alcohol combo, the thoughts on groping, or talking about all these athletic young men. Probably a combo shot.
Gaines and Vea still an immovable wall up front, but for fucks sake can we ever generate a pass rush. Jesus fucking Christ. I like Bartlett, he really showed up last night on maintaining edge control and having a nose for the ball, but we just can't generate any rush. Thanks Malloe. You piece of human garbage. Potato still seems mostly useless to me. And I saw Bowman get turned completely around out of the play a couple times. FML.
BBK could be a great LBer if he was a little bigger and faster. Kid is always at the point of attack, but often gets turned or skated right out. I am liking him more than I thought I would, because he is so game, but ultimately he is still a too small white fag with flowing blonde queer locks.
DB's will be fine. Making some small mental mistakes but this group has so much raw fucking talent.
The entire D plays with lots of aggression, which I like. If we could find some damn edge rushers this D would be the shit.
CLS just got home with coffee so this shit is a wrap. Gotta go see if she can tame the crazy boner I have, or if I am in the doghouse.